What Would Kinky Do?

Kinky Friedman has done it all. From performing on "Saturday Night Live" to writing mystery novels to running for Governor of Texas, Kinky had spread a wealth of wisdom across the nation. In this volume, Kinky offers up a collection that addresses the sorry state of our world and what to do about it. From immigration to 'poly-ticks' to why Willie Nelson would have been on his gubernatorial staff, nobody cuts to the heart of the matter with the wit and verve of Kinky Friedman. Following is little friendly advice from the Kinkster: get you some Brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol' cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them. Get your hair fixed right. If you're male, cut it into a 'mullet' (short on the sides and top, long in the back - think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you're female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you're ready. Buy you a big ol' pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That's a Jewish Cadillac - stops on a dime and picks it up.Don't be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores. Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.