'Ask a Scotsman for directions and he'll tell you which way to go. Ask an Englishman and he'll try to sell you a map.' Anon'Oats. A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people. 'Samuel JohnsonIt's 700 years since the Scots and English went head-to-head at the Battle of Bannockburn... and we've been winding each other up ever since. Has there ever been a better time to celebrate seven centuries of love, hatred and indifference?Susan Morrison and Albert Jack offer the view from each side of the border in this hilarious miscellany of Anglo-Scots rivalry, featuring quotes, stories and trivia from Stephen Fry, Bill Bryson, Jimmy Carr, Robert Burns, Billy Connolly, Frankie Boyle, Robert Louis Stevenson, Samuel Johnson and many, many others.