Single Woman and the Fairytale Prince

Jean-Claude Kaufmann is a Sociologist and Director of Research at the CNRS (National Centre for Scientific Research) in the University of Paris V, Sorbonne.

• FOREWORD TO THE NEW EDITIONINTRODUCTIONPART ONE: IS THERE A MODEL FOR PRIVATE LIFE?1. LIVING ALONE: A LONG HISTORYIntolerable CelibacyGreat Buffalo WomanCelibacy Becomes LegitimateA Maid in Men’s ClothesIntrospectionThe World Turned Upside DownThe Nineteenth Century: The Main Trend BeginsGrisettes and PhalansteriesThe BreakDark TimesThe American ModelThe Scandinavian ModelCrazy TimesUncertain Times2. A LIFE DIVIDEDThe ‘Accusing Finger’‘Weird’Uncomfortable PlacesThe Family: What Can Be Said and What Cannot Be SaidThe Laughter of GirlfriendsBetrayalA Cycle in Three Stages3. A LIFE SHAREDBack to HistoryPremonitory ExperimentsThe Personalization of FeelingsA Model for Private LifeThe Mother-Children GroupThe Model Undermined4. PRINCE OR HUSBAND?Facts and FairiesThe Prince with a Thousand Faces‘Like a Love Story’The Prince Settles DownWhen the Carriage Turns Back into a PumpkinThe Prince Plays Musical ChairsPART TWO: PORTRAIT OF A SINGLE WOMAN5. INTROSPECTION‘The Disease of the Infinite’From Laughter to TearsDouble ReflexivityFrom Diaries to BlogsThe Mirror and the Clairvoyant6. AT HOMEFixtures and FittingsBedMealsWrapping Up and RegressingFreedom from DomesticityThe Lightness of Being7. THE OUTSIDE WORLDGoing OutOther TiesThe FamilyWorkBeing Oneself in the Outside World8. MENArmsSexMan-HuntersA Gloomy View of LifeMarried Men9. THE INTERNET REVOLUTIONA Sudden Change of EpochLove is Just a Click AwayThe Dark Side of the WebReal LifeMen and Women: Sex and Commitment‘Don’t Give Up’An Experience in its Own RightPART THREE: THE AUTONOMY TRAJECTORY10. BEING ONESELFThe Concept of TrajectoryThe Irresistible Injunction to be OneselfOneselfWidowsYoung PeopleWomen Who Have Broken off RelationshipsPredisposing FactorsThe Impulse to Remain SingleThe Lesser of Two EvilsTwo Trajectories, Two Identities11. WAITINGDinosaurs of Love and Galloping HorsesThe Ravages of LoveFor Want of an AlternativeSentenced to Hard LabourComforting HabitsExtreme IsolationNegative Individualism12. ‘WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING!Flight as TherapyThe Logic of the ShellThe Paradox of AppearancesWomen Can Do AnythingAutonomy with CompanyCONCLUSIONEPILOGUEDOSSIER. THE GLOBALIZATION OF SINGLEDOM: THE FIGURESThe Irresistible Rise in the Number of One-Person HouseholdsInterpreting the FiguresLate MarriageA Short World TourMail-Order BridesA NOTE ON METHODOLOGYStages in the ResearchThe LettersConstructing HypothesesThe InformantsBIBLIOGRAPHY

"Kaufmann is a wise and clever microsociologist, inspired by Erving Goffman, by fashion magazines, and by kittenish and cougarish women. He is the voice of the annoyed, the vexed, the fearful, and the comforted."Contemporary Sociology “Freedom and autonomy have their glories and their miseries. Jean-Claude Kaufmann has composed a thoroughly researched inventory of both, while analysing in depth the present-day condition of women and its impact on the male half of humanity. As women replace self-effacement with newly gained self-confidence, the lynchpin is driven out of the family and the private sphere, and the hard-to-reconcile drives to autonomy and companionship result in the increasing fragility of commitments and fear of loneliness for both women and men. In masterly fashion, Kaufmann records the ongoing transformations in the human condition that follow. His findings hit at the very heart of the harrowing dilemmas which most men and women confront these days and struggle to resolve.”Zygmunt Bauman, Universities of Leeds and Warsaw “Anyone seeking to understand the fastest growing trend in personal life – more people living alone – should read this book. Jean-Claude Kaufmann moves elegantly between broad-brush historical overviews of changes in family life and fine-grained scrutiny of the narratives of women ensnared in the drama of these new demographics. Paradoxically, the opening up of personal choices for everybody seems to close down the options for many women, who are finding it harder to find the partners they long for.”Lynne Segal, Birkbeck College, author of Why Feminism?“This is a brilliant book on the everyday effects of the rise in female singledom. Kaufman provides fascinating insights into the pressures that single women experience today, from society's disapproval of female autonomy as a threat to traditional family models, to the hopes and disappointments of the modern dating world.”Veronique Mottier, University of Lausanne