Sh*t My Boss Says

Office jobs are renowned for being exciting, fulfilling and lucrative--NOT! Whether you're a cubicle newbie or a water cooler veteran, this book can help you to navigate the corridors of power, the pathways of indifference and the narrow gap that separates your crazy boss from your annoying co-workers...well, not really, but at least it'll give you some humorous relief from the daily grind of office life. The trials and tribulations of working in an office are mercilessly skewered, and as always, it's better to read about it than to live it! Things heard in an office: "The Internet is down, so I sent out an email to let everybody know." "The way I see it, I pay you to take the blame for the mistakes I make." "Everyone, I know you're all overworked and exhausted, and we're behind, but I'd like to see if we can meet yesterday's deadline ahead of time." Office worker: "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Boss: "If I'm paying you, yes, it does." "Can you work for free next week?" Glossary of Common Workplace Phrases: "Hope this helps." = "Are you so dumb that I have to spell it out for you even further?" "I have a few questions about the file you sent." = "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" "Let's get together on this." = "presumably you are as confused as I am." Few company owners know how to do anything except own a company, so they have to hire other people (you) to do all the real work. Learn how to cope with them and the sh*t they say!