Parenting While PhDing

JACKIE HOERMANN-ELLIOTT is an associate professor of English at Texas Woman’s University in Denton, Texas, where she serves as the director of first-year writing. She is the author of Running, Thinking, Writing: Embodied Cognition in Composition.  JENNA MORTON-AIKEN is a lecturer in English at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, where she serves as senior associate director for writing and English language support.

• Foreword by Caroline GrantChange the Conversation: An Introduction, Jackie Hoermann-Elliott and Jenna Morton-Aiken  Part 1: Stay AliveChapter 1: Embrace the Multiplicities: How Internarrative Identity Theory Transformed My PhD Journey, Judith Chriqui BenchimolChapter 2: Leverage Your Assets: How Parenting Shapes (and Benefits) Our Scholarly Identities, Jennifer C. Judd, Whitney Zahar Rich, and Alicia C. BerettaChapter 3: Be Your Own Advocate: Prioritizing Self as a Pregnant PhD Student, Elizabeth M. WilliamsChapter 4: This Too Shall Pass: Strategies for Mothering While Studying as a Distance-Learning Graduate Student, Elise A. GreenChapter 5: Just Be Okay: A Reflection on Pandemic Parenting, Burnout, and Healing, Emily GresbrinkChapter 6: Speak Out: Dismantling Master Narratives and Toxic Work Culture, Keith JacksonChapter 7: Send Away the Cucuy: One Mom’s Journey Through Graduate School While Battling False Expectations, Karen Tellez-TrujilloChapter 8: Orale! Apply and Earn Tu Degree: Parenting While a (Chicana!) Doctoral Student, Dalel SerdaChapter 9: Stay Alive: A Black Mother’s Responsibility to Ride Grief’s Hills and Live, Lisa E. Wright  Part 2: Your Body Has Other PlansChapter 10: “A Lot of Us Can Swim”: One Queer Student’s Advice for Mentoring Pregnant and Parenting Graduate Students, Rachael JordanChapter 11: Expect the Unexpected: Navigating the Early Dilemmas of Becoming a Graduate Student Parent, Laura Fitzwater GonzalezChapter 12: Do Have Kids in Graduate School: Resisting Chilly Advice and Treatment in Graduate School for Prospective Parents, Natasha Trace RobinsonChapter 13: “Send Those Damned Emails”: Experiences and Advice from My Premature Birth, Tiffani K. TijerinaChapter 14: Don’t Divide Yourself: Building Hybrid Work Practices to Reconcile the Competing Identities of Graduate-Student Parents, Jennifer Burke ReifmanChapter 15: Your Body has Other Plans: Finding Support and Forgiveness for Morning Sickness, Kathryn Lafferty-Danner  Part 3: Juggle What MattersChapter 16: “Go to F*cking Disney World”: Establishing a Work/Life Balance and Learning When to Say “No”, James B. Harr, IIIChapter 17: Cobble Together the Village: Securing Childcare as Graduate Student Parents, Calvin OlsenChapter 18: The World Won’t Pause: What to Expect When Co-Navigating the Academic and Professional Job Market with a Newborn, Daniel Henke and Erin HenkeChapter 19: Reframe the Narrative: A Conversation on Navigating Childcare in a PhD Program, Camila Ring, Brita Thielen, and Hayley VerdiChapter 20: Know When to Move: Intentionally Choosing When to Share News of Fostering with Your Committee, Aleashia Walton ValentinChapter 21: Find Ways to Shift: Reimagining Labor in the Postpartum Period Amidst the PhD, Courney Lund O’NeillChapter 22: Give Yourself a Break: Juggling Rugrats, Experiencing Regrets, April Cobos, Daniel L. Hocutt, and Megan McKittrickChapter 23: Create a Toolkit: How we Developed Practices of Care to Survive as First-Gen GTA Parents, Danielle M. Koepke and Gitte FrandsenChapter 24: Juggle What Matters: An Autoethnography of a Graduate Student Mom, Educator, and Caretaker, Celeste L. Graham  Part 4: Push BackChapter 25: You Can be Both: Navigating Complementary not Contradictory Roles as a Conservative Muslim Mother and Academic, Nabila HijaziChapter 26: You Don’t have to Keep Going: Reflections on Navigating Crises and Precarity as an Excluded Scholar, Amie McLeanChapter 27: Know the Problem Isn’t You: Addressing Systemic Barriers for Parents in PhD Programs, Lourdes Fernandez, Jessica McCaughey, and Rachael Graham LussosChapter 28: Question Normative Tropes: Possibilities for Queer Parenting in Graduate Programs, Beth BuyserieChapter 29: Get Rid of the Gauntlet: Redefining a Scientist’s Parenting Experience in Academia, Kristin L. OsborneChapter 30: Push Back: Identifying and Handling Retaliation in Order to Stop A Leaky Pipeline, Siham Lekchiri and  Barbara A.W. Eversole  Part 5: Leave a NoteChapter 31: There’s Never a Good Time: Navigating Graduate Medical Education while Pregnant, Stephanie L. Graff, MDChapter 32: Things Don’t Always Go According to Plan: Navigating Pregnancy Loss and Challenging the Culture of Silence as a PhD Candidate, Mariya TseptsuraChapter 33: Investigate and Invest in Supportive Spaces: Doctoral Programs that Accept and Enhance the Experiences of Graduate Student Parents, Morgan Buchs, Rachel Flynn, Laura Leigh Menard, and Brandie BohneyChapter 34: It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows: Emotional Labor and Mentoring in the Writing Center, Jennifer Phillips-DennyChapter 35: My Place in the Wolfpack: The Importance of Cultivating MyPacks and Providing Student Parents with Opportunities to Belonging, Jacqueline Cerda-SmithChapter 36: Race at Your Own Pace: A Story of How Caregiving Sometimes Means Changing Lanes or Start Times in Graduate School, Joan Jiyoung HwangChapter 37: Lean On: Planning for, Insisting On, and Accepting Support, Sara Bartlett LargeChapter 38: Leave a Note: Powering Through an Academic Job Market as a Breastfeeding Mom, Danielle DeVastoClosing Thoughts: From Survival to Self-Preservation, Jenna Morton-AikenAppendix AAppendix BAppendix CAcknowledgmentsNotes on ContributorsIndexForeword by Caroline Grant xiiiChange the Conversation: An Introduction 1Jackie Hoermann-ElliottandJenna Morton-AikenPart I: Stay Alive1 Embrace the Multiplicities: How Internarrative IdentityTheory Transformed My PhD Journey 17Judith Chriqui Benchimol2 Leverage Your Assets: How Parenting Shapes(and Benefits) Our Scholarly Identities 22Jennifer C. Judd, Whitney Zahar Rich, andAlicia Christine Beretta3 Be Your Best Advocate: Prioritizing Self as aPregnant PhD Student 31Elizabeth M. Williams4 This Too ShallPass: Strategies for Mothering WhileStudying as a Distance-LearningGraduateStudent 39Elise A. Green5 Just Be Okay: A Reflection on Pandemic Parenting,Burnout, and Healing 47Emily Gresbrink6 Keep a LaborLog: Analyzing Master Narratives aboutTime and Toxic Work Culture 56Keith Jackson7 Send Away the Cucuy: One Mom’s Journey throughGraduateSchool While Battling False Expectations 65Karen Tellez-Trujillo8 Órale! Apply and Earn Tu Degree: Parenting While a(Chicana!) Doctoral Student 74Dalel Serda9 Stay Alive: A Black Mother’sResponsibility toRideGrief ’s Hills and Live 81Lisa E. WrightPart II: Your Body Has Other Plans10 “A Lot of Us Can Swim”: One Queer Student’sAdvice for Mentoring Pregnant and ParentingGraduateStudents 91Rachael Jordan11 Expect the Unexpected: Navigating the EarlyDilemmas of Becoming a GraduateStudent Parent 100Laura Fitzwater Gonzales12 Do Have Kids in GraduateSchool: Resisting ChillyAdvice to and Treatment of Prospective Parents inGraduateSchool 108Natasha Trace Robinson13 Send ThoseDamned Emails: Experiences and Advicefrom My Premature Delivery 117Tiffani K. Tijerina14 Don’tDivide Yourself: Building Hybrid WorkPractices to Reconcile the Competing Identitiesof GraduateStudent Parents 125Jennifer Burke Reifman15 Your Body Has Other Plans: Finding Support andForgiveness for Morning Sickness 131Kate Lafferty-DannerPart III: Juggle What Matters16 “Go to F-ckingDisney World”: Establishing aWork-LifeBalance and Learning When to Say No 139James B. Harr III17 Cobble Together the Village: Securing Childcareas GraduateStudent Parents 145Calvin Olsen18 The World Won’tPause: What to Expect WhenCo-Navigatingthe Academic and Professional JobMarket with a Newborn 153Daniel Henke and Erin Henke19 Reframe the Narrative: A Conversation on NavigatingChildcare in a PhD Program 160Camila Ring, Brita M. Thielen, andHayley E. Verdi20 Know When to Move: Intentionally Choosing Whento Share News of Fostering with Your Committee 168Aleashia Walton Valentin21 Find Ways to Shift: Reimagining Laborin thePostpartum Period amid the PhD 177Courtney Lund O’Neil22 Give Yourself a Break: Juggling Rugrats, ExperiencingRegrets, and Cultivating Compassionate Community 182April Cobos, Daniel L. Hocutt, andMegan L. McKittrick23 Create a Toolkit: How We Developed Practices ofCare to Survive as First-GenGTA Parents 191Danielle Marie Koepke and Gitte Frandsen24 Juggle What Matters:An Autoethnography of aGraduateSchool Mom, Educator, and Caretaker 200Celeste L. GrahamPart IV: Push Back25 You Can Be Both: Navigating Complementary, notContradictory Roles as a Conservative Muslim Motherand Academic 209Nabila Hijazi26 You Don’tHave to Keep Going:Reflections onNavigating Crises and Precarity as an Excluded Scholar 217Amie McLean27 Know the ProblemIsn’tYou: Addressing SystemicBarriers for Parents in PhD Programs 229Lourdes Fernandez, Jessica McCaughey,and Rachael Graham Tin28 Question Normative Tropes: Possibilities for QueerParenting in GraduatePrograms 240Beth Buyserie29 Get Rid of the Gauntlet: Redefining a Scientist’sParenting Experience in Academia 249Kristin L. Osborne30 Push Back: Identifying and HandlingRetaliation inOrder to Stop a Leaky Pipeline 256Siham Lekchiri and Barbara A. W. EversolePart V: Leave a Note31 There’sNever a Good Time: Navigating GraduateMedical Education While Pregnant 267Stephanie L. Graff32 ThingsDon’tAlways Go According to Plan: NavigatingPregnancy Loss and Challenging the Culture ofSilence as a PhD Candidate 276Mariya Tseptsura33 Investigate and Invest in Supportive Spaces: DoctoralPrograms That Accept and Enhance the Experiences ofGraduateStudent Parents 284Morgan Buchs, Rachel Flynn, Laura LeighMenard, and Brandie Bohney34 It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows: MentoringGraduateStudent Parents in the Writing Center 293Jennifer Phillips-Denny35 My Place in the Wolfpack: The Importance ofCultivating MyPacks and Providing Student Parentswith Opportunities to Belong 302Jacqueline Cerda-Smith36 Race at Your Own Pace: A Story of How CaregivingSometimes Means Changing Lanes or Start Times inGraduateSchool 311Joan Jiyoung Hwang37 Lean On: Planning for, Insisting On, and AcceptingSupport 319Sara Bartlett Large38 Leave a Note: Powering through an Academic JobMarket As a Breastfeeding Mom 330Danielle DeVastoClosing Thoughts: From Survival to Self-Preservation337Jenna Morton-AikenAppendix A: Jenna’s Self-PreservationToolkit 343Appendix B: Out-of-OfficeReplies fromStephanie Graff, MD 348Appendix C: LaborLog Template from Keith Jackson 351Acknowledgments353Notes on Contributors 355Index 000

"Parenting While PhDing is an invaluable resource that delves into the multifaceted experiences of graduate student parents, offering practical strategies and heartfelt narratives. This book is particularly beneficial for academic professionals, administrators, and graduate students who seek to understand and support the delicate balance of parenting and academic pursuits from a graduate student perspective. Its strength lies in its diverse perspectives and actionable advice, making it an essential guide for fostering a more inclusive and supportive academic environment." - Lisa Wolf-Wendel (coauthor of Academic Motherhood: How Faculty Manage Work and Family)