• Before We Begin6PART ONE8The Sphere9A tale of innocence A Farewell18Father’s dream of AfricaThe Bird of Paradise Dress25How a young former officer became our family’s familiarMy Sister Becomes a Beast40Shoving a fiancé off to AmericaHammer or Anvil49A saffron dress, a marital blessingPART TWO56The Letter-Writer57They never doubted my clevernessBlack and White70Beauty causes a car accidentCoffeehouse Culture76There I saw him for the first timeThe Villa83We became creatures of the demimondeThe Raft89The infallible omnipotent finger into the futureLove98A sandstorm of grandiose wordsThe Mother112They were accomplicesProper Lies119Love is a powerful, moody godThe Song of Irresponsibility130The listener falls for the storytellerChaos Takes Over Order 137Robust reality holds the thread of happinessElixir of Personal Freedom145The ampule in the desk drawerBob157Probably even the sofa is pregnantSympathy for the Object of Contempt 164A kind of Machiavellian footnoteSmoky Language of the Wind 172She carries a knife of obsidian at her breastPART THREE182The Journey183Mankind must sacrifice its treasures to the godsCiudad de Mexico193Self-dramatization as an art formYo creo que es el198She called him Ixtla OctliThe Black Bull 209God of seduction, pain and plaisirThe Castillo226Our wedding of Eros and DespairWhat I Still Wanted to Say241A Thank-You Note247

"This exhilarating, beautifully written memoir, dotted with photos and drawings, bursts with Ost's love of life and passion for art."—Candace Smith,Booklist