How to Say the Right Thing Every Time

Robert D. Ramsey is a lifelong educator who has served as a "leader of leaders" in three award-winning school districts in two different states. His frontline experience includes positions a teacher, counselor, assistant principal, curriculum director, assistant superintendent, acting superintendent, and adjunct professor. Most recently, he has served as associate superintendent in the St. Louis Park (MN) schools, where every school has been designated by the federal government as a National School of Excellence. Ramsey is now working full-time as a freelance writer in Minneapolis.

• List of BoxesPrefaceAcknowledgmentsAbout the Author1. The Twenty Biggest Communication Mistakes School Leaders Make and How to Avoid ThemThe Top Twenty Reasons Educators Fail to CommunicateThe Jargon TrapEuphemisms Feel Good but Don’t Send a Clear MessageToo Much Political Correctness Can Send Wimpy MessagesHow Straight Talk Can Make You a Better School LeaderWhen the Right Thing to Say Is “Nothing”More “Must-Do” Tips for Always Saying the Right Thing2. How to Say the Right Thing to StudentsTen Guidelines for Communicating With StudentsStraight Talk Is the Language of Choice With KidsHow to Talk to Young Children on Their LevelHow to Talk to Today’s TeenagersDifferences in Talking to Boys and GirlsAnother Dozen Do’s and Don’ts for Saying the Right Things to Kids of All AgesHow to Give Clear Directions and Instructions Every TimeSocrates Had It Right: How to Ask Effective QuestionsHow to Give Students “Pep Talks” That Really WorkHow to Give Authentic PraiseHow to Help Kids Talk Themselves Into SuccessRhetoric-Free ReprimandsDealing With Touchy Topics (Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Eating Disorders, and Other At-Risk Behaviors)How to Talk to Kids About Death and DyingHow to Talk to Tough Kids (Including Gang Members)How to Talk to Kids About School ViolenceHow to Talk to Kids About National Tragedies3. How to Say the Right Thing to ParentsWhat to Say to Put Parents at EaseSuccess Secrets for Communicating “Must-Know” InformationStraight Talk at Parent-Teacher ConferencesHow to Explain Grades and Test ScoresHow to Share Good News With ParentsHow to Break Bad News (Failure, Retention, Disciplinary Action, Athletic Ineligibility)Don’t Beat Around the Bush About Bad BehaviorHow to Talk to Parents About Student Secrets, Surprises, and Other Sensitive Subjects (Dependency, Pregnancy, Homosexuality)What to Say to Angry, Out-of-Control Parents and Other AdultsMore Pointers for Saying the Right Thing to Parents4. How to Say the Right Thing to Peers and ColleaguesSuccessful Job Interviews: How to Ask the Right Questions and Give the Right AnswersHow to Ask for and Offer Help to Peers and ColleaguesHow to Give AdviceThe Language of Coaching and MentoringHow to Argue and WinThe Proper Art of Bitching: How to Complain About the System and the People in ItHow to Criticize a Colleague Without Losing a FriendWhat to Say and Not Say When Giving References and RecommendationsWhat to Say and How to Say It in Performance ReviewsHow to Pay Tribute to a ColleagueHow to Say the Right Thing to the Central OfficeHow to Say the Right Thing to the School Board5. How to Say the Right Thing to the General Public and the MediaSmooth Schmoozing: How to Make Small TalkHow to Sway Opinion and Persuade NonbelieversHow to Handle Complaints From the PublicHow to Make the Most of Good NewsTruth in TaxationHow to Ask for Money“Houston, We Have a Problem”: What to Say When Trouble StrikesHow to Apologize and Admit Mistakes to the PublicSpin-Doctoring for AmateursDealing With the Media: What to Say to ReportersDo’s and Don’ts of Public Speaking for School Leaders6. How to Say the Right Thing in Special SituationsSecrets of Successful Ceremonial GreetingsHow to Give and Receive ComplimentsHow to Show Appreciation and Say “Thank You”How to Say “No” and Make It StickTips on TestifyingAdvice for Leading Prayers, Giving Invocations, and Pronouncing BenedictionsWhat to Say to Someone Who Is Not Going to Get WellHow to Express SympathyHow to Give a Eulogy7. How to Say the Right Thing in WritingWriting Is Different—or Is It?A No-Nonsense Writing Clinic for School LeadersInteroffice Memos: The Good, the Bad, and the UglyCyber Straight Talk: Making the Most of Electronic MessagesReal-World Report WritingHow to Say the Right Thing in Business LettersCorrect Forms of Address for Letters to Special Public FiguresHow to Write Straight-to-the-Point Press Releases and News Items8. How to Say the Right Thing With Gestures and Body LanguageHow the “Silent Language” Speaks VolumesAvoid Sending Mixed MessagesUnderstanding the Vocabulary of Body LanguageUsing the Power of GesturesStay out of Trouble: Avoid the Pitfalls of Different Meanings for Different GroupsSmile, You Really Are on Candid Camera9. How to Target Communication to All StakeholdersTale of the Tail: Customizing CommunicationOld Stand-bys Aren’t EnoughNew Tools for Saying the Right Thing to EveryoneOne Strategy That Works With All StakeholdersA 7-Step Code for Saying the Right ThingMore Ready-to-Use Tips for Targeting Messages to Specific AudiencesHow to Be a Communications HeroA Final WordResourcesResource A. 101 Ways to Be a Better Communicator Starting Tomorrow MorningResource B. What Others Say About Communication: Quips, Quotes, and AnecdotesReferencesIndex

"I had several ‘ah-ha’ moments while reading this book. I cannot imagine anyone reading this and not finding it worthwhile. Kudos to the author for creating a meaningful guide for today’s school administrator."