Grandmothering

Building Strong Ties with Every Generation

Inbunden, Engelska, 2019

AvKathleen Stassen Berger

599 kr

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Contemporary grandmothers are often marginalized from extended family life because social institutions and grandmothers themselves do not understand that they could be vital for working parents, for overactive children, for suicidal youth, indeed for many of the problems of modern grandchildren. The genetics and hormones of older women have designed them to be vital family members, with patience and perspective that come with age and experience. In addition, biology helps directly via menopause. The grandmother hypothesis explains that human women, unlike almost any other living creature, experience decades of life after menopause, in order to make grandmothers available to their descendants. Here, Kathleen Berger explores he role of grandmothers in the lives of their grandchildren. She uses real life examples to illustrate how grandmothers can best integrate themselves into the lives of their children’s families without overstepping. She explores the particular needs of each stage of childhood as they relate to grandmother involvement and input. Before a child is born, grandmothers need to attend to building a strong relationship with the future parents. In infancy, attachment and feeding are crucial. In early childhood, grandmothers need to follow the parent’s lead, remembering that a parental alliance is essential. In childhood, children need to be safe but not isolated, and both bullies and victims benefit from a grandmother’s support and assistance. In adolescence and emerging adulthood, grandmothers need to build direct connections and not avoid the difficult topics of sex, drugs, death, disease, and money. Throughout, elders need to learn technology, insuring that it fosters, not impedes relationships. Problems in relationships are explained honestly and with insight. Among these are issues when three generations share a home, when parents get divorced, and when grandchildren rebel against parental authority. Throughout the work, both the joy and the complications of effective grandmothering are described. Whether you’re a biological grandmother, a trusted step-grandmother, or just a warm and trusted older woman with young ones in your life, you can be a vital force in the lives of future generations.

Produktinformation

Utgivningsdatum2019-11-04
Mått142 x 226 x 22 mm
Vikt485 g
FormatInbunden
SpråkEngelska
Antal sidor320
FörlagBloomsbury Publishing Plc
ISBN9781538133132

Tillhör följande kategorier

Uppfostran inom Hälsa och familj
Relationer inom Hälsa och familj

ContentsPrefaceDedicationPart I: Get up from the FloorChapter One: Excluded and on the FloorWhat is Wrong?Cohort and CultureGrandmothers and FamiliesChapter Two: Why Grandmothers?The Paradox of MenopauseEvidence for Grandmother HypothesisStill True?Chapter Three: Deep Within, On the Floor AgainEvery Part of the brainGenes, Selfish and NotOxytocin and Other HormonesChapter Four: Too Little GrandmotheringSome Care is EssentialWho is to BlameSuing for Visitation Rights Chapter Five: Too Much GrandmotheringCustodial GrandmothersThree Generation HouseholdsFinding the BalancePart II: At every AgeChapter Six: The Loving CoupleLesson One: Keep Comments to YourselfLesson Two: Respect the GatekeepersLesson Three: Recognize Linked LivesChapter Seven: The Pregnant CoupleLesson Four: Quiet Fears and Anxieties Lesson Five: Learn about InnovationsLesson Six: Build Relationships CarefullyChapter Eight: Birth and the NewbornLesson Seven: Remember the other people. Lesson Eight: Recognize Birth as a PivotLesson Nine: Prevent Postpartum Depression Chapter Nine: InfantsLesson Ten: Notice and AdmireLesson Eleven: Avoid Attachment WarsLesson Twelve: Don’t Feed the Baby, Unless….Chapter Ten: Young ChildrenLesson Thirteen: Twelve: Avoid AssumptionsLesson Fourteen: Accept Blame and MediationLesson Fifteen: Discipline with CareChapter Eleven: School ChildrenLesson Sixteen: Keep them Safe and SocialLesson Seventeen: Protect Victims and BulliesLesson Eighteen: Help with Education Chapter Twelve: Divorce and GrandchildrenLesson Nineteen: Strengthen the PartnershipLesson Twenty: Be a Steady AnchorLesson Twenty-One: Step into the FamilyChapter Thirteen: AdolescentsLesson Twenty-Two: Navigate Changing RelationshipsLesson Twenty-Three: Reconsider Suicide, Drugs, and SexLesson Twenty-Four: Learn TechnologyChapter Fourteen: Emerging AdultsLesson Twenty-Five: Don’t Advise Settling DownLesson Twenty-Six: Explore Values with Words and MoneyLesson Twenty-Seven: Take Care of Health and AbilityInto the FutureReferencesBibliographyIndexAbout the Author

A wide-ranging look at the world of grandmothers and grandmothering. Berger’s book is a personal, in-depth examination of the many roles that female grandparents can fulfill in a world of overmanaged children with so-called helicopter parents. . . . In order to help these grandmothers smoothly acclimate to modern family dynamics, Berger offers them humorous, insightful, and often richly autobiographical advice. However, anybody who has living grandparents will find the book compelling as well. She offers useful tips on being a supportive aide to a pregnant granddaughter (or granddaughter-in-law) and on being a reliable source of infant-rearing help. Berger also addresses urgent situations in which a grandparent’s intervention may become necessary. In general, though, she advocates being a 'steady anchor' for parents and grandchildren—both intimately connected and “above the fray” while offering invaluable support. Any reader who’s been blessed with a wonderful grandmother may find such notions to be self-evident, but Berger shores up her observations with anecdotes and a great deal of engaging research. . . . A valuable, compassionate consideration of female elders’ work and worth.