Earthquakes in Candyland

AMERICAN CANDYLAND: Love is a swipe away, toy aisles teem with plastic tanks, nipples are illegal. The Pentagon spends 717 billion dollars a year on war. Scientists say the sixth great extinction event is upon us, and mammals aren’t going to make it past the year 2,100.

When faced with disaster, Americans grow robust. We become more of ourselves, with Twitter feuds, celebrity weight loss tricks, covens hexing Trump.

In the dead of night the old ones whisper, “Where has my America gone?” The young ones were born too poor, too late to hear the promises and believe them.

We feel earthquakes, and there is nowhere left to hide.

This is Jennifer Robin’s America: Hilarious, heartbreaking, razor-sharp.