"Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?"

Marc J. Ackerman, PHD, is a clinical psychologist and expert on child custody. He maintains a counseling and consulting practice in Milwaukee and is the author of several books for psychologists and lawyers on the topic of child custody, including Wiley's Clinician's Guide to Child Custody Evaluations, Third Edition and the Essentials of Forensic Psychological Assessment. He has been involved in thousands of custody evaluation cases and is the co-creator of ASPECT, a major child-custody evaluation instrument. Dr. Ackerman has worked with thousands of divorcing families and is a frequent speaker at conferences and on national television and radio talk shows.

• Preface xiii Acknowledgments xviiChapter 1 A House Divided 1Facts about Divorce 2Chapter 2 Moving Ahead: Telling Children about Your Divorce 13Concrete Thinkers in an Abstract Situation 17When Your Child Is No Longer a Child 24Academic Performance 26Boys and Girls React Differently 26Adjustments Abound 28Mourning the End of a Marriage 29Not Enough Hours in the Day, Not Enough Friends in the World 32One Magical Wish 34Chapter 3 Custody Options: The Best Interest of the Child 35Joint versus Sole Custody 37Chronic Mental Illness Leads to a Topsy-Turvy World 39Active Alcoholism or Other Drug Abuse and Children Don’t Mix 41Physical or Sexual Abuse: Confounding Dilemmas 42Violating Orders, Communication Failure, Obstructing Visits 43Endangering Your Children 44Separate Lives under One Roof, Then the Great Divide 46Giving Up Placement 48Grandparents: Help or Hindrance 49Chapter 4 Navigating the Legal Waters 51Finding an Attorney 51Don’t Be Attracted by Unrealistic Promises 55Avoid “Hired Guns” and “Dirty Tricks” Attorneys 56Switching Attorneys 58Telling Your Story in Court 59Acting as Your Own Attorney 60Mediation as a First Step 61Collaboration 64Arbitration 68The Court Process 69Custody Disputes 72The Guardian ad Litem 72The Custody Study 76Custody Evaluation 76To Supervise or Not to Supervise 83Relocation Cases 85Going Back to Court 88Chapter 5 Two of Everything? Dealing with the Practicalities of Placement and Custody 93Placement of Young Children 96The Ackerman Plan 98Bad Schedules 100General Rules 101Separating Children 105Uninterrupted Time 106Different Cities: Creating a Placement Road Map 107Making Things Work under New Rules 109The Master Schedule 109The Parenting Plan 111Visits and Flexibility Work Hand in Hand 114Dividing Property with an Eye n Details 119Parents’ Rights 121College Education 125Religious Training 126Phone Calls 127Presents 129Vacations 129Finances 130Parents Working after a Divorce 131Chapter 6 How to Parent Apart 132The Family Conference: Increasing Avenues of Communication 133A United Front 134Making Placements Better 134Power to the Children 138Children as Coequals 139Sleeping Arrangements 140Children in the Middle 140A Different Sort of Communication 143Fighting in Front of the Children 144Where to Live 146Problems with the Other Parent 147Parents Who Won’t Visit 148Lack of Cooperation 149Chapter 7 Maltreatment 152Physical Abuse 154Who Will Be the Abusers? 154Proving Abuse 156Consequences of Childhood Physical Abuse 157Family/Domestic Violence 159Domestic Violence and Custody 161To Stay or Not to Stay: Is That Your Quandary? 164Emotional/Psychological Abuse 165Sexual Abuse 167Who Are the Sexual Abusers? 169Evaluating Sexual Abuse 169If You Think Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused 170Sexual Abuse Allegations: True or False? 172Devastating Effects of Sexual Abuse 176Warnings!!!!!!! 181Chapter 8 The Only Certainty in Life Is Change 183Move-Away Placement Plan 186Longer Lasting Reactions 187A Plan to Make Everyone Feel Better 188The Challenge of Additional Adjustments 188Remarriage 192The Role of the Stepparent 194Disciplining Children 195Cementing Relationships 197The Other Extended Family 197Change as Children Grow Older 198Chapter 9 Custody Do’s and Don’ts 200A Boy Named Chris 201Custody Do’s 207Custody Don’ts 217Chapter 10 Resources Abound 224Psychiatrists 225Psychologists 226Social Workers 228Professional Organizations 229Current Resources on Child Custody/Divorce 231Index 241