Couples Therapy Homework Planner

GARY M. SCHULTHEIS is a clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist. He maintains a private practice in Evansville, Indiana. STEFFANIE ALEXANDER O'HANLON is a licensed clinical social worker and photographer. She consults on the use of the narrative arts in healthcare. BILL O'HANLON has authored or coauthored twenty-nine books and is an inspirational speaker and psychotherapist.

• Wiley PracticePlanners® Series Preface xi Acknowledgments xiiiIntroduction 1How to Use This Book 2Assigning Tasks 3Debriefing 3SECTION I------Generic Tasks 6Exercise I.1 Stacking the Deck 9Exercise I.2 Personal Pep Talk 12Exercise I.3 Gray Areas 14Exercise I.4 Love-O-Meter 16Exercise I.5 Session Preparation 18Exercise I.6 Feedback Log 20Exercise I.7 Learning the Language 24Exercise I.8 Chart Your Course 26Exercise I.9 Taking Charge of Change 29Exercise I.10 Unpack Loaded and Vague Words 32Exercise I.11 Doing Love and Intimacy 36Exercise I.12 Track the Problems and Solutions 42Exercise I.13 Identify and Validate Your Partner’s Feelings and Points of View 44Exercise I.14 Changing Character Indictments to Action Descriptions 47Exercise I.15 Identify What Has Worked and Do More of That 50Exercise I.16 Little Things Mean a Lot 53Exercise I.17 Keep One Eye on the Road 56Exercise I.18 Time Travel 58Exercise I.19 What Is Your Map of Love-Land? 61Exercise I.20 Acknowledgment 64Exercise I.21 Catch Your Partner Doing Something Right 66Exercise I.22 Let Your Partner Know What Behaviors You’d Like 69Exercise I.23 Just the Facts, Ma’am 71Exercise I.24 Map the Problem 73Exercise I.25 Breaking Patterns 76Exercise I.26 Don’t Get Even, Get Odd 78Exercise I.27 Change the Context 82Exercise I.28 Negotiating Impasses 85Exercise I.29 Go Ape 87Exercise I.30 Letter to the Problem 90Exercise I.31 Going Postal Instead of Going Postal 92Exercise I.32 Lighten Your Load 95Exercise I.33 Can Do! 97Exercise I.34 Plant a Tree 99SECTION II------Generic Issues/Values Conflicts for Couples 101Exercise II.1 Timeout Handout 102Exercise II.2 Anger Log 104Exercise II.3 Setting Boundaries 106Exercise II.4 Biodots 109Exercise II.5 Breathing 111Exercise II.6 Let’s Get Physical 113Exercise II.7 Value Your Differences 115Exercise II.8 Accountability 117Exercise II.9 Restoring Trust and Faith When One Partner Has Betrayed the Relationship 119Exercise II.10 Inequities 121Exercise II.11 Feeling Responsible: Who Initiates Things That Need to Be Done 124Exercise II.12 Intimacy 127Exercise II.13 Styles of and Motivation for Arguing 129Exercise II.14 Forgiveness 131Exercise II.15 Money/Financial Conflicts 134Exercise II.16 A Common Destination 137Exercise II.17 Negotiating Socializing Preference Differences 139Exercise II.18 Creating a Mission 142SECTION III------Specific Problem Areas for Couples 144Exercise III.1 Chronic or Unproductive Arguments 145Exercise III.2 Verbal Abuse 148Exercise III.3 Boxing Clutter to a TKO 151Exercise III.4 Separating Work from Home Life 153Exercise III.5 Planned Spontaneity 155Exercise III.6 A Safe Place for the Traumatic Memories 158Exercise III.7 Chronic Lateness from Work 160Exercise III.8 Set Limits with Consequences 163Sexual Issues and Problems 165Exercise III.9 Mix ‘ n’ Match Sexual Menu for Expanding Your Sex Life 166Exercise III.10 Pleasure Teaching Session 168Exercise III.11 Dealing with Impotence 170Exercise III.12 Help for Premature Ejaculation 172Exercise III.13 Initiation Week 174Exercise III.14 Lightening Up about Sexuality and Weight Gain 176Exercise III.15 A Night to Remember 178Family, Stepfamily, and Parenting Problems 180Exercise III.16 Wrestling with the Challenging Task of Parenting 181Exercise III.17 In-Law Problems 184Exercise III.18 Get a Roommate 187Exercise III.19 Circle the Wagons 190SECTION IV------Reproducible Forms and Brochures 192Suggestions for Making Conversations More Productive 192Movies about Couples 194An Appreciative Interview to Celebrate the Anniversary of Your Marriage 201Interview with My Valentine 203Appreciative Inquiry Interview Protocol: Life-Giving Relationships 204Guidelines for Couples’ Communication 206How to Solve Relationship Problems 208Creating or Renewing Intimacy 209Pocket Emergency Guidelines 211Getting Over an Affair 213Dealing with a Partner or Spouse with a Chemical Abuse Problem 215Preventing or Dealing with Violence in a Relationship 218Solving Sexual Problems 220Train Your Therapist 223Relationship Rescue: Ten Methods for Resolving Relationship Crises 225Dealing with the Death of a Child 228Generic Assignment Form 229References 231About the Downloadable Assignments 233