Couples as Parents

Kate Thompson is a couple psychoanalytic psychotherapist and senior staff member at Tavistock Relationships (TR) with over 20 years’ experience of therapy with couples and individuals. Currently heading up Couple Therapy for Depression Training of NHS practitioners, Kate is also clinical lead for TR’s parenting services. Registered with BPC and BACP, Kate writes for a variety of publications; she co-edited Engaging Couples: New Directions in Therapeutic Work with Families (Routledge, 2018) and a special edition of Couple and Family Psychoanalysis on Divorce and Separation (2021). She is Co-editor in chief of Journal of Couple and Family Psychoanalysis.Damian McCann, DSysPsych, is a psychoanalytic couple psychotherapist working at Tavistock Relationships, London; adjunct faculty member of the International Psychotherapy Institute (IPI) Washington, DC; an associate of Queen Anne Street Practice, London; and an editorial board member of Couple and Family Psychoanalysis. He is also a consultant systemic psychotherapist with many years of experience working with children, adolescents and their families. He has a particular interest in working with gender and sexual diversity in psychoanalytic practice and has published and taught widely on this topic. His edited book Same-Sex Couples and Other Identities: Psychoanalytic Perspectives was published by Routledge in 2021.

• Part 1 Preparation for Parenthood 1. All Change, All Change! Couples Responding to the Transition to Parenthood 2. Being a Couple and Developing the Capacity for Creative Parenting: A Psychoanalytic Perspective 3. Becoming Parents through ART: Infertility, Loss, and the Dilemmas of Assisted Reproductive Technology 4. Gay and Lesbian Parenting: Choices, Choices and More Choices Part 2 Developmental Stages of the Child 5. Perinatal Couple Psychotherapy and the Role of the Infant 6. Back to the Future, Together 7. No Sex Please; We’re Parents 8. Falling or Flying: Managing the ‘Emptying of the Nest’ Part 3 Challenges to Parenting 9. Perinatal Loss: The Impact on the Couple and the Next Generation 10. Great Expectations: Blame, Shame, and Mourning in Work with Adoptive Couples 11. Holding the Line: An Exploration of the Difficulties in Maintaining a Boundary Around the Couple for Parents Raising a Child with a Disability Part 4 Conflicted Parents and their Children 12. "Good Cop – Bad Cop": The Challenge for Parents of Finding the Middle Ground 13. Mentalization-Based Therapy – Parenting Under Pressure (MBT-PP): What Does it Feel Like? Does it Work? How Can it Help? 14. From Partners to Co-Parents: Treading a New Landscape after Separation

"Parenting is arguably the most challenging journey we ever embark on, especially alongside nurturing a couple’s relationship. The book offers a compelling collection of essays that brilliantly bridge the gap between couples’ dynamics and effective parenting. It’s more than a guide – it’s an essential read for professionals. By transcending the dyadic, this unique book champions a holistic view across a wide range of contexts, spotlighting how relationships influence relationships. The book will take your approach for the betterment of both children and parents to a new more sophisticated level!"Professor Peter Fonagy, OBE FMedSci FBA FAcSS, Head of the Division of Psychology and Language Sciences Director, UCLPartners Mental Health and Behaviour Change Programme Chief Executive, Anna Freud National Centre for Children & Families National Clinical Advisor on Children’s Mental Health, NHS England "The transition from coupledom to parenthood can prove immensely challenging. Fortunately, Kate Thompson and Damian McCann have curated a beautiful, ground-breaking book documenting the ways in which experienced couple mental health specialists can prevent families from exploding. I warmly recommend this deeply important, clinically original, and highly readable text to all psychological professionals and, moreover, to parents as well."Professor Brett Kahr, Senior Fellow, Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology, London, Honorary Director of Research, Freud Museum London, and Past Chair of the British Society of Couple Psychotherapists and Counsellors"Clinicians and parents will find this interesting and intelligent book incredibly useful. So many parenting books overlook that adults are also navigating their own relationship as they go about the task of bringing up children – this excellent volume really addresses that gap."Susanna Abse,, Psychoanalytic Therapist and author of Tell Me The Truth About Love: 13 Tales from the Therapist’s Couch"Couples as Parents fills a void in the fields of family and marital psychotherapy. Writings about couple therapy have focused on marriage as a thing in itself, and family therapy has focused largely on interaction between children and parents. This encyclopedic book puts the microscope on the parenting function of couples, and thereby gives new perspective on a wide variety of largely unexplored dimensions crucial to family well-being. It is a most welcome addition to our knowledge and ability to help a wide variety of families."David Scharff, MD., Co-editor, Psychoanalytic Couple Therapy and Co-Founder, International Psychotherapy Institute"Couples As Parents is truly an insightful delve into parenthood and partners. Experienced therapists share their observations of working with parents in conflict, expertly unpicking the knots of discord to deliver understanding, and in turn build the foundations of good communication. A brilliant read for anyone working with or interested in couple and family dynamics."Sally Land,, Agony Aunt for The Sun"This book tackles some of the hurdles facing parents from the moment they decide to try for a baby to the moment their child flies the nest. It maps the different stages of a couple’s life together and traces them as they intersect with their child’s developmental trajectory. I wish it had been to hand when we set out on our parenting journey."Tracey Camilleri, parent and author of The Social Brain"This very thoughtfully written and edited book describes how even planned and welcomed babies challenge the couple relationship as two become three, and intergenerational precepts around childrearing come into play. One of the unique contributions of the book is that the baby as well as the couple is held in mind by the authors. The various chapters make for surprisingly easy reading while dealing deftly with complex issues. I have come away enriched."Tessa Baradon, Consultant Infant, Child and Adolescent Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist