Conflict Resolution Training Program

Prudence Bowman Kestner is president of the Institute for Organizational and Personal Transformation, Inc. (I-OPT). Formerly she was the associate director of the American Bar Association's Section on Dispute Resolution (ABA/ADR). Larry Ray is an attorney in private practice. He served as executive director for the National Association for Community Mediation (NAFCM) and for the American Bar Association (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution. He provides training for the American Management Association (AMA), the Maryland State Highway Administration, and the Graduate School, USDA. He arbitrates for the National Association of Securities Dealers (NASD) and United States Arbitration and Mediation (USAM). He mediates for the World Banks Group, the United States Postal Service, the National Archives, and the U.S. Office of Special Counsel. He serves as a senior instructor for the George Washington University School of Law and Keller Graduate School. Kestner and Ray have conducted trainings in communication, conflict management, mediation, and negotiation. Cover design by

• Preface xiAcknowledgments xiiiIntroduction 1Part I: Background For Leaders 6Creating a Training Plan 6Sample Training Plan 13Part II: The Introductory Phase 19Opening Remarks and Activities 19Introduction to the Training 20Four Introductory Activities 26Activity: What’s Your Headline? 27Activity: Visual Biosketches 31Activity: Extended Interview 34Activity: The Problem Mill 38Part III: The Dispute-Resolution Continuum 40Overview of the Dispute-Resolution Continuum 40The Multi-Option Dispute-Resolution Approach 46Activity: Dispute-Resolution Continuum 48Application of the Dispute-Resolution Approach 50Activity: Dispute-Resolution Options 51Part IV: Conflict and Conflict Management 54Crisis 54Activity: Crisis 54Conflict and Conflict Management 58Activity: Personal Conflict-Management Styles 62Activity: Identifying Response Styles 65Adjusting One’s Conflict-Management Style 68Activity: Adjusting One’s Conflict-Management Style 69Alternative to the Training Plan 72Impasse 72Activity: Impasse 72Part V: Conflict-Resolution Communication 78Activity: Were You Listening? 78Communication and Listening Skills 80Activity: Personal Communication Styles 83An Overview of Communication 86Activity: Empathic Responses 92Activity: Active Listening 96Activity: Ineffective Listening 99Questioning 105Activity: Questioning Skills I 109Activity: Types of Questions 111Activity: Questioning Skills II 114Filling 117Activity: Filling 117Word Association and Target Words 120Activity: Word Association 122Activity: Target Words 125Nonverbal Communication 128Activity: Nonverbal Body Language 128“I” Statements 140Activity: Using “I” Statements 142Activity: Listening When Under Stress 144Communication Can Cause Conflict 147Activity: Communication Can Cause Conflict 147Part VI: Values, Perspectives, and Power 151An Overview of Values 151Activity: Values Ratings 152Activity: Values and Beliefs 155Stereotyping 157Activity: Stereotyping I 157Activity: Stereotyping II 161Perspectives 164Activity: Perspectives 164Activity: Squares 171Power 173Activity: Power 174Part VII: Creativity 176An Overview of Creativity 176Activity: Sign Walkers and/or Art in Public Places 178Activity: Building a Car 181Activity: The Water Tower and/or The City Sign 182Part VIII: Consensus 186Activity: Consensus 186An Overview of Consensus 190Activity: Reaching Consensus 191Part IX: Negotiation 192An Overview of Negotiation 192Activity: Introductory Negotiations 195Positions and Issues 199Questioning Skills Relevant to the Stages of Negotiation 201Activity: Negotiation 202Part X: Mediation 206An Overview of Mediation 208Attributes of Successful Mediators 210Stages of Mediation 211Types of Mediation 219Co-Mediation 220Role Play to Teach Mediation Skills 220How to Teach the Six Stages of Mediation 222Part XI: Arbitration 228An Overview of Arbitration 228Stages of Arbitration 230Activity: Arbitration Role Play 234Part XII: Role Plays 237Overview of Using Role Plays 237Role Play #1: Sell the Business? 240Role Play #2: Tenant Noise Dispute 242Role Play #3: Dress Code 245Role Play #4: Delicio Dispute 247Role Play #5: New Supervisor 250Role Play #6: Romance in the Office 253Role Play #7: Parking Dispute 256Role Play #8: Neighborhood Business Dispute 259Role Play #9: Landlord and Tenant Dispute 262Role Play #10: Nursing Home 265Role Play #11: Hot Water Tank 267Role Play #12: ABC Liquor 269Role Play #13: Requested Collaboration 272Role Play #14: Nine to Five 275Role Play #15: The Merger 278Role Play #16: Medical Malpractice? 283Role Play #17: Leaking Roof 285Role Play #18: Co-Owners 288Role Play #19: Cancelled Seminar 291Appendix I: The Dispute-Resolution Contractual Clause 294Appendix II: Sample Evaluation Form 296Appendix III: Sample Arbitration Decision Form 297About The Authors 299