Calm Parents, Happy Siblings

Dr Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist, parenting coach and mother of two children. She has helped thousands of families worldwide with her relationship-based model of parenting. For more information visit www.ahaparenting.com

• 1: Introduction1: If You’re Welcoming a New Baby2: If Your Children Are Constantly Fighting1: CALM PARENTING1: How You Can Be a Calm Parent1: The Parenting Skills That Help You Become Calmer as a Parent2: How Calm Discipline Supports the Sibling Relationship1: Why Punishment and Permissiveness Cause More Sibling Fighting2: Rethinking Discipline3: Rethinking Time-outs4: Rethinking Rewards5: The Difference Between Consequences and Limits6: What If Empathy Doesn’t Work?7: Preventive Maintenance8: When Your Child Is Acting Out: Time-in9: Helping Kids with Big Emotions: Scheduled Meltdowns10: How to Help Each Child with Big Emotions When You Have More Than One Upset Child3: What Causes Sibling Rivalry – And How Parents Can Make It Better1: Your Child’s Point of View: That’s Not a Friend, It’s a Replacement2: Factors That Can Exacerbate Rivalry3: The Power of Parents to Foster a Super Sibling Relationship2: PART TWO: TEACHING CALM4: Coaching Kids to Communicate Feelings and Problem-solve1: Coaching Essential Emotional Intelligence Skills2: Your New Role: Interpreter3: Coaching Kids to Identify and Communicate Their Needs and Feelings4: Coaching Kids to Set Limits with Each Other5: Coaching Kids to Listen to Each Other6: Coaching Kids to Problem-solve7: Basic Negotiation Tools to Teach Kids5: When Problem-solving Fails: Teaching Conflict Resolution1: What About ‘We Get Along’ Shirts?2: Why Fighting Is Essential to Teach Children Relationship Skills3: How to Help Children Learn to Work It Out Themselves4: Empowering Kids to Stand Up to Teasing5: Mean Words6: When Your Child Says He Hates His Sibling7: Intervening in a Sibling Fight: The Basics8: Should You Punish Your Child for Aggression?9: When Your Toddler Is the Aggressor Against Your Older Child10: Coaching Kids to Handle Aggression from Younger Siblings11: How to Stop Repeated Aggression12: Teaching Skills: Intervening in a Sibling Fight13: Helping Kids Make Repairs After a Fight, Instead of Forced Apologies6: Why Can’t They Just Share? Why Kids Fight Over Possessions1: Rethinking Sharing: A Radical Solution2: Self-regulated Turns: What Children Learn3: Coaching Kids as They Wait for Their Turn7: Easing the Competition1: ‘It’s Not Fair!’2: Never Compare3: Resist Labelling4: How to Celebrate Each Child Without Fuelling Competition5: Who Gets to Push the Lift Button?6: How to Ensure You Don’t Unwittingly Foster Competition7: Helping Kids with Competitive Feelings8: Birth Order and Competition9: What If You Prefer One Child?8: Tools to Prevent Rivalry and Nurture Bonding1: Expect Your Children to Value Each Other2: Family Routines That Foster Sibling Bonding3: Family Rules and Mottos That Support Sibling Closeness4: How to Create More Positive Interactions Between Your Children5: Strategies to Create a Sibling Team6: Shifting Alliances: How to Keep Kids from Ganging Up on Each Other7: Why Rough and Tumble Reduces Sibling Rivalry8: Why Not Tickling?9: When Kids Share a Room10: When One Child Has a Friend Over11: Family Meetings: The Resource You’ll Be So Glad You Discovered3: PART THREE: BEFORE THE NEW BABY AND THROUGH THE FIRST YEAR9: Before the Baby Arrives: Creating a Warm Welcome1: Telling Your Child About the New Sibling2: Twelve Ways to Help Your Kids Begin Bonding3: During Your Pregnancy4: Be Sure Your Child Can Rely on Both Parents5: Ten Tips to Support Your Child Emotionally as He Moves Towards Becoming a Big Sibling6: Weaning Versus Tandem Nursing7: Preparing Your Child for the Separation During the Upcoming Birth8: If You’re Planning to Have Your Child at the Birth9: Creating a Transition Book for Your Child10: Making an Activity Box for Your Child11: Work Through Your Own Emotions About Having a Second Child12: Loving Each Child Best10: Getting Off to a Good Start: Birth and the First Few Months1: Introducing Your Child to the New Baby2: The First Week: Settling In as a Family3: How to Keep Your Child Occupied While You Feed the Baby4: Helping Your Child with Her Mixed Emotions About the Baby5: What About Those Overzealous Hugs?6: Regression: When Your Child Goes Backwards7: Managing Naptime and Bedtime with More Than One Child8: The Early Months: The New Normal9: When Your Child Has a Hard Time Adjusting10: Daily Practices to Stay Connected to Your Child Now That He Has to Share You11: Using Games to Help Your Child with Jealousy12: Reading Books to Your Child About Becoming a Big Sib13: Nine Tips to Foster a Great Relationship Between Your Children Right from the Start11: Building a Positive Foundation When the Baby Begins to Crawl1: Ten Tips to Maintain a Peaceful Home as Baby Moves Towards Toddlerhood2: Dividing Your Time3: How to Help Your Older Child Solve His Problems with the Little One4: What to Say When Your Child Is Jealous of the Baby5: What to Do About Toy Grabbing6: When Your Child Is Aggressive Towards the Baby7: What If the Aggressor Is Too Young to Understand?8: What If It’s the Baby Who’s Aggressive?9: Games to Help Your Children Bond with the Baby12: Final Note: Choose Love13: Acknowledgements14: Notes15: Index