Break Up with Narcissism

Dr. Alina Kastner is a systemic family therapist specializing in narcissism, emotional abuse, and sex therapy. Blending her clinical expertise with research and compassion, she is dedicated to helping clients heal and rebuild their lives. Based in Austria with her son, dog, and horses, Alina shares practical advice and insights on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube (@dr.alinakastner). Break Up with Narcissism, her debut book, is a powerful guide to breaking free from the grip of narcissistic abuse. Learn more at www.alinakastner.com.

• ContentsIntroduction .................................. 6Part One: Identifying You're in a Narcissist's Web .......... 9Chapter 1: Unmasking the Narcissist .......... 10Chapter 2: Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse .......... 30Chapter 3: You Are Not Crazy (Even If You Feel Crazy Right Now) .......... 52Part Two: Navigating the Storm .......... 87Chapter 4: Trauma Bonding .......... 88Chapter 5: How Narcissistic Abuse Affects You .......... 102Chapter 6: Coping Tools During the Relationship .......... 110Part Three: Breaking Free .......... 125Chapter 7: Escaping from Your Hell .......... 126Chapter 8: What to Expect When You Leave .......... 142Chapter 9: Recovery After Your Breakup .......... 174Part Four: Staying Free .......... 195Chapter 10: Coping Tools After the Breakup .......... 196Chapter 11: Moving Forward: Rising in Love with Yourself .......... 210Chapter 12: Love Letters .......... 224Resources .................................. 230Bibliography .................................. 231Acknowledgments .................................. 234About the Author .................................. 236Index .................................. 237

You've met the partner of your dreams. Everyone loves them. Within weeks, you’re making wedding plans and choosing kids’ names. Then suddenly, you can’t do anything right, you begin to doubt your sanity, and you find yourself being constantly corrected, cut down, and controlled. Welcome to life with a narcissist, says family therapist Kastner. The author, who has experienced narcissistic relationships herself, aims to help readers dig into their past, understand the ways of the abuser, and escape the relationship. She offers examples of dialogues and situations gleaned from clients’ files, showing how abusers gradually groom their subjects using manipulative actions including love-bombing, gaslighting, belittling, and stonewalling. The narcissist is described as lacking empathy, being hypocritical, and making their subject walk on eggshells. “Check-Ins” throughout the book prompt readers to put the abuser’s actions into writing, both as a reminder of the abuse and as evidence if needed for legal action. Kastner winds things up with step-by-step plans to escape the abuser and restore your life. For readers who find themselves in a similar situation, this is gold.