Beyond Violence

Stephanie S. Covington, PhD, LCSW, is a clinician, author, and organizational consultant. She is a pioneer in the design and implementation of gender-responsive treatment services for women in public, private, and institutional settings.

• Orientation Session 1Introduction to the Program 1Overview of the Program 2Your Workbook 2Group Introductions 3Topics Covered in This Program 4Group Agreements 5Triggers and Coping Tools 6Five Senses 7Breathing and Exhaling 7Statistics on Violence in the United States 8Definition of Violence 10The Social–Ecological Model (People in the Environment) 11Creating a Container 14Discovering Your Anger Style 16Anger Survey 19Assignment 20Self-Soothing Activity: Palms Down, Palms Up 21Part A: SelfSession One: Thinking Our Thoughts 25The Spirals of Violence and Nonviolence 26Cognitive Distortion 27My Typical Distorted Thinking 29Feelings Inside and Outside 31The DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 32Understanding Keila 32Understanding Me 34Assignment 36Session Two: Feeling Our Feelings 39Identifying Feelings 40Beliefs About Feelings 43Intensity of Feelings 44Emotional Wellness 48Feelings and the Body 49When Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You 50The Observer Self 51Assignment 52Session Three: Violence and Trauma in Our Lives 53Types of Abuse 54The Process of Trauma 54Calming Strategies 58Two Calming Activities 59Mindful Breathing 59Ten-Point Body Scan 59Assignment 60Session Four: The Effects of Trauma 63Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey 64The Effects of Trauma and Substance Use on the Brain 68Risk Factors for Addiction 69Personal Experiences with Substances 70Triggers and the Body 71Yoga Poses and the Mind–Body Connection 74Assignment 75Session Five: Women and Anger 77Words for Anger 78Meeting a Feeling 79The Anger Funnel 80Anger Triggers 82Anger Management Strategies 83Anger Dos and Don’ts 85Hidden Anger 87Self-Inflicted Violence 88Assignment 89Session Six: Understanding Ourselves 91DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 92Understanding Keila 92Understanding Me 94Understanding My Behavior 96Understanding Keila 96Understanding Me 97Becoming Whole 98Assignment 100Part B: RelationshipsSession Seven: Our Families 103Self-Soothing Activity: Deep Breathing 104Risk Factors 105Family Sculpture 106The Cost of Violence 107Feelings and the Family 108The Anger Questionnaire 109Wheel of the Nurturing Family 112Assignment 115Session Eight: Communication 117Communication Styles 118Nonverbal Communication 119Communicating Emotions 120Strategies for Creating Connection Through Communication 121Responses to Stress 122Assignment 124Session Nine: Power and Control 125The Power and Control Wheel 126Types of Abuse in Relationships 130The Violence Continuum 132Escalation and De-escalation 134Violence in Prison 136Using the Time 137Assignment 138Session Ten: Conflict Resolution 141Fair Fighting 142Words, Words, Words 143Impulse Control 144The Equality Wheel 147Assignment 150Session Eleven: Creating Our Relationships 151Falling in Love 152Love and Addiction 153Contrasting Intimate Relationships and Addictive Relationships 154How to End a Relationship 155Assignment 156Part C: CommunitySession Twelve: Our Communities 159Self-Soothing Activity: Progressive Muscle Relaxation 160Our Communities 162Visualization 163Friendship 167Assignment 168What’s in a Name? 170Session Thirteen: The Importance of Safety 171Safety in the Community 172The Four Kinds of Safety 173Environment and Behavior 175Safe and Unsafe Environments 176Safety and the Body 177Community Maps—Past, Present, and Future 178Assignment 182Session Fourteen: Creating Community 183DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 184Crossroads 186Making Good Decisions 188Assignment 190Session Fifteen: The Power of Community 193DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 194Activity: Writing About a Kind Act 195Assignment 196Part D: SocietySession Sixteen: Society and Violence 199Self-Soothing Activity: Breathing in the Positive 200Reviewing the Risks for Violence 201The Culture Wheel 202Institutional and Cultural Supports for Domestic Violence 204Working to End Violence 206Art as an Expression of the Levels of Violence 209Assignment 211Session Seventeen: Creating Change 215Health, Harmony, and Wholeness 216The Spirals of Transformation 218Assignment 221Session Eighteen: Transforming Our Lives 223Visualization 224The Role of Remorse in Transformation 225The Process of Transformation 226Making Amends 227Forgiveness 228Assignment 229Session Nineteen: Honoring Ourselves and Our Community 231The Relational Wheel 232Are You Becoming the Person You Want to Be? 234ORID 235Appreciation 237Appendix Yoga Poses 239About the Author 245About the Cover 247