Student EQ Edge

KORREL KANOY is professor emeritus of psychology at William Peace University and an educational consultant. HOWARD E. BOOK is an organizational consultant and psychiatrist. He is an associate professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Toronto. STEVEN J. STEIN is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Multi-Health Systems Inc. He is coauthor, with Howard Book, of The EQ Edge .The book is sponsored by Multi-Health Systems (MHS), which has been publishing psychological assessments for 30 years.

• Preface ixAbout the Authors xi1 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence 1Emotional Intelligence Overview 2A Word About EI Scales and Skills 4The Student EQ Edge: Student Workbook: An Overview 4Why Reflection? 52 Case Studies of Emotionally Intelligent (and Not Emotionally Intelligent!) Behavior 7Case Study #1: Why Can’t I Make an A? 7Case Study #2: 15 Years to Graduate 8Case Study #3: But I’m Good! 10Case Study #4: Starting College 11Case Study #5: Shared Responsibilities 12Case Study #6: A Costly Decision 13Case Study #7: First Job Jitters 14Case Study #8: No Way 15Case Study #9: Twins? 173 Emotional Self-Awareness 19Worksheet 3.1: Feelings Journal 21Worksheet 3.2: Hot Buttons 22Worksheet 3.3: ABCDE Exercise—Th e Impact of Th oughts onEmotions and Behaviors 24Worksheet 3.4: Hot Buttons on Reality TV 26Worksheet 3.5: Positive and Negative Aff ect 27Worksheet 3.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Self-Awareness 284 Self-Regard 29Worksheet 4.1: Who Am I? 31Worksheet 4.2: Locus of Control Scale (Rotter, 1966) 32Worksheet 4.3: Positive and Negative Self-Talk 35Worksheet 4.4: 3600 Feedback 36Worksheet 4.5: Modern Family 37Worksheet 4.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Regard 385 Self-Actualization 39Worksheet 5.1: Who Am I? 41Worksheet 5.2: Emotions Meter 42Worksheet 5.3: Quotes, Sayings, and Songs—A Window into You! 43Worksheet 5.4: Defi ning Your Personal Mission Statement 44Worksheet 5.5: Th e Amazing Race 45Worksheet 5.6: Self-Development Plan for Self-Actualization 466 Emotional Expression 47Worksheet 6.1: Observing Emotions 50Worksheet 6.2: Observing Your Emotions 51Worksheet 6.3: Follow the Leader 53Worksheet 6.4: “I” Messages 57Worksheet 6.5: TV Emotions 60Worksheet 6.6: Self-Development Plan for Emotional Expression 627 Independence 63Worksheet 7.1: Private Eye 66Worksheet 7.2: By Yourself 69Worksheet 7.3: Please Do Th is for Me! 70Worksheet 7.4: Reality TV—Too Needy, Too Alone, or Just Right? 71Worksheet 7.5: On My Own 72Worksheet 7.6: Self-Development Plan for Independence 748 Assertiveness 75Worksheet 8.1: Assertive, Aggressive, or Passive? 78Worksheet 8.2: It Seems So Easy When Others Do It 80Worksheet 8.3: Giving Feedback 81Worksheet 8.4: Controversial Issues 83Worksheet 8.5: Assertiveness Quiz 84Worksheet 8.6: Self-Development Plan for Assertiveness 869 Interpersonal Relationship 87Worksheet 9.1: My Favorite Person 90Worksheet 9.2: Sharing Secrets 92Worksheet 9.3: Scaling the Intimacy Wall 93Worksheet 9.4: Beginning a Relationship 94Worksheet 9.5: Getting Closer 95Worksheet 9.6: Self-Development Plan for Interpersonal Relationship 9610 Empathy 97Worksheet 10.1: What Is Empathy? 99Worksheet 10.2: Th e Art of Questions 100Worksheet 10.3: Refl ective Listening 102Worksheet 10.4: Empathy Assessment 103Worksheet 10.5: Listening Even When It’s Hard to Do! 106Worksheet 10.6: Self-Development Plan for Empathy 10811 Social Responsibility 109Worksheet 11.1: Doing What’s Right 112Worksheet 11.2: Cooperation 114Worksheet 11.3: A Company’s Social Responsibility Policy 115Worksheet 11.4: My Social Responsibility Policy 116Worksheet 11.5: Take Action! 117Worksheet 11.6: Self-Development Plan for Social Responsibility 11812 Reality Testing 119Worksheet 12.1: My Big Decision 122Worksheet 12.2: Th e Mirrors Around You 124Worksheet 12.3: Failed Reality Testing 126Worksheet 12.4: Decision-Making Interviews 127Worksheet 12.5: Reality-Testing Scenarios 128Worksheet 12.6: Self-Development Plan for Reality Testing 13013 Problem Solving 131Worksheet 13.1: What Is My Emotion? 134Worksheet 13.2: Failed Decisions Revisited 136Worksheet 13.3: Solving Your Problems 137Worksheet 13.4: But Can I Really Change My Emotion? 139Worksheet 13.5: One Fine Day 140Worksheet 13.6: Self-Development Plan for Problem Solving 14114 Impulse Control 143Worksheet 14.1: Marshmallow Cravings 146Worksheet 14.2: But I Want . . . 147Worksheet 14.3: Survivor 148Worksheet 14.4: No Regrets? 149Worksheet 14.5: Strategies for Success 150Worksheet 14.6: Self-Development Plan for Impulse Control 15115 Flexibility 153Worksheet 15.1: Refl ections About Change 156Worksheet 15.2: Flexibility Survey 157Worksheet 15.3: Th e Price of Infl exibility 159Worksheet 15.4: Stretching Yourself 161Worksheet 15.5: Flexibility Forecasting 162Worksheet 15.6: Self-Development Plan for Flexibility 16416 Stress Tolerance 165Worksheet 16.1: Identifying Your Stressors 168Worksheet 16.2: Understanding Why You Get Stressed 169Worksheet 16.3: Irrational Th inking and Stress 170Worksheet 16.4: Resources for Coping 172Worksheet 16.5: Stress Busters 173Worksheet 16.6: Self-Development Plan for Stress Tolerance 17417 Optimism 175Worksheet 17.1: Optimism Begins with Framing 179Worksheet 17.2: De-motivators—Watch Your Self-Talk 180Worksheet 17.3: Assessing Your Optimism 182Worksheet 17.4: Pep Talks and Persistence 184Worksheet 17.5: Perseverance Defi ned 186Worksheet 17.6: Self-Development Plan for Optimism 18718 Happiness 189Worksheet 18.1: Taking Stock of Your Happiness Level 192Worksheet 18.2: Laugh a Little, Laugh a Lot 193Worksheet 18.3: Does Money Buy Happiness? 194Worksheet 18.4: Well-Being Indicators 195Worksheet 18.5: Th e Pursuit of Happyness 197Worksheet 18.6: One Commitment—Self-Development Plan for Happiness 198References 199Appendix A KISS Strategies for Improving Emotional Intelligence 201Appendix B Movie Selections for Learning About Emotional Intelligence 213