Purpose of Boys

The Author Michael Gurian is a family therapist, educator, consultant, and the New York Times best-selling author of twenty-five books, including The Minds of Boys, Leadership and the Sexes, The Wonder of Girls, Boys and Girls Learn Differently! and The Wonder of Boys. Cofounder of the Gurian Institute, he has spearheaded an international effort to provide families, communities, and corporations with an understanding of brain-based gender issues.

• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IXINTRODUCTION: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE, SON? 1Competing Purposes 3What Is the Purpose of Boys? 4We Who Care for Boys and Men 9PART ONE UNDERSTANDING THE PURPOSE OF BOYS 111 THE LOSS OF PURPOSE IN AMERICAN BOYHOOD 13Why Parents Want to Provide Purpose for Boys 15Moving Forward with New Vision 222 HOW LITTLE BOYS DEVELOP THEIR SENSE OF PURPOSE 25The Empathy of Boys 26Brain Differences Between Boys and Girls 30How Boys and Girls Need Purpose Differently 33Your Little Boy’s Need to Save the World 36Asking the Deep Questions of Boys 423 HOW ADOLESCENT BOYS SEEK THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE 43The Young Seeker Among the Primitive and the Civilized 45How Adolescent Boys and Girls Seek and Develop Purpose Differently 48What Motivates Different Boys 57Helping Our Sons Seek Respect in Adolescence 59Moving Forward with a Map in Hand 624.SON, YOU ARE MY HERO 63The Heroic Son 64The Story of Joseph 66The Story Ends, for Now 86PART TWO HELPING OUR SONS FIND THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE 895 CREATING FAMILIES OF PURPOSE FOR BOYS 91Creating a Three-Family System: The Parent-Led Team 92The Development of a Boy’s Sense of Destiny in the Family System 96The Ten Values Tool 97The Value of Teaching Sexual Purpose 109 Helping Our Sons Find Purposeful Work 115 Helping Boys Find Purpose in Their Media Use 121A Boy’s Search for Freedom 1286 CREATING COMMUNITIES OF PURPOSE FOR BOYS 130The Loss of Communities of Purpose for Boys 131What the Community Can Do for Our Sons 134Forming Purposeful Communities for African American Boys 141Changing Helping Professions to Focus on Boys’ Needs 151Enjoying Communities of Purpose with Boys 1537 CHANGING SCHOOLS TOWARD RELEVANCE AND PURPOSE FOR BOYS 155How Boys Are Struggling for Purpose in School 156Fixing the Mismatch Between Schools and the Purpose of Boys 158Investing in Schools of Purpose 1788 CREATING AND PROVIDING RITES OF PASSAGE FOR YOUR SON 179Guiding a Son Through Male Adolescence 180Developing Your Own Rite-of-Passage Programs 184The “Here I Am” Rite-of-Passage Program 189The Power of Purposeful Men 205EPILOGUE: COMING TOGETHER TO ADVOCATE FOR BOYS 207NOTES AND RESOURCES 211BIBLIOGRAPHY 225APPENDIX: RITE-OF-PASSAGE PROGRAMS 229THE GURIAN INSTITUTE 235THE AUTHOR 237INDEX 239