I Only Wanted to Dance

There I am.
A dazzling smile, looking straight at the camera.
A child known for having social skills,
but all I remember is discomfort.
I played the part, though, in that strange coalition of people.
At least for a while.
When I found a way to relax, I finally gave up the charade.
Blindly pursuing the strongest impulse I had ever felt.
The emotional relief was immeasurable. Now, I needed no-one.
Even life-threatening consequences were obscured by the buzz.
Desperately, I tried to silence the nagging about the harm I caused.
Detached, chemically mind-altered, I left the realm of the humane.
Was I sick?
I simply know this - no healthy human being would do what I did.
This is a tale of miraculously cheating Death and,
Dear Reader, of what happened when I had managed that.
Then I tell of the beginnings of making things right in my world.

"This is a strong narrative that should be of interest to most people.
A book that even youngsters ought to read,
so that they never become seduced by romanticized descriptions
of narcotics or alcohol."
(Citation from booklet #12121088)
Pia Holmström, Reader, BTJ, the Swedish Library Service