Grief on the Road to Emmaus

Beth L. Hewett, PhD, CT, CCISM, CEOLS, is an experienced bereavement facilitator, facilitator trainer, Benedictine oblate, and author. She supports individuals and groups in coping with trauma and grief, focusing on mindful mourning and the intention of finding hope. Dr. Hewett is a Certified Thanatologist and a Certified Critical Incident Stress Management Specialist. Her work includes grief-focused articles and such books as Supporting a Grieving Workforce, Good Words: Memorializing through a Eulogy, and More Good Words: Practical Activities for Mourning. Learn more about Dr. Hewett and find information on her bereavement facilitator training and grief ministry workshops at www.goodwordsforgrieving.com/.

• ContentsAcknowledgments   xiPreface   xiiiIntroduction   1A Ministry of Presence   5Accompanying the Bereaved   8Ministering to the Masses   11Monastic Values for Bereavement Care   14Invitation to Work Together   17Outline of the Book   18CHAPTER ONELove Other People   23Love and Grief   24Grief and Mourning   26Self-Love and Our Personal Griefs   39Loving Ourselves Healthfully   40Exercise 1: Personal Grief Stories   43Exercise 2: My Bereavement Map   44Exercise 3: Grief and Loss Self-Care Checklist   45Conclusion   46CHAPTER TWOMutuality Sees Humanity   51Interpersonal Regard   53Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   57 Exercise: Self-Reflections on Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   59ATTEND Model for Mindfulness-Based Bereavement Care   70Conclusion   74CHAPTER THREEHospitality Makes Space   77A Monastic Place of Respite   78Providing a Holding Environment and Container   82Providing Loving Boundaries   87Conclusion   101CHAPTER FOURListening Is Sacred   105Listening through Silence   107Listening to Hear versus Listening to Respond   115Exercise: Responsive Listening   125Listening Mindfully through Story   126Mindful Use of Language   144Conclusion   146CHAPTER FIVEPrayer Seeks Hope   149Prayer and Hope   151What Hopeful Prayer Looks Like   158Strategies for Praying Hopefully   170Conclusion   180CHAPTER SIXHumility Knows Its Place 183Humility   185Grief and Trauma   187 Grief and Mental Health   202Ethics and Bereavement Facilitation   216Exercise: Writing a Code of Conduct   222Conclusion   224CHAPTER SEVENAction Expresses Love   229Action, or Good Works, as a Vehicle for Love   231The Importance of Symbols for Action   232Universal Symbols   234Using Symbols for Mourning   238Symbolism for Death and Bereavement as Specific Life Phases   242The Catholic Funeral as Symbolic Action   243Assisting the Bereaved Sensitively   254Employing Other Sacred Grief Ceremonies and Rituals   257Conclusion   268CHAPTER EIGHTCommunity Recreates Humanity   273Community within the Ministry of Consolation Team   275Community through Grief Support Groups   283Community among Other Bereavement Support Organizations   303Conclusion   308CONCLUSIONWe Return to Love   311Index   314

"Grief on the Road to Emmaus taps directly into that time-tested approach to seeking God in community to give perspective to ministers of consolation, bereavement facilitators, and anyone who is called upon to accompany people grieving any significant loss, the hurting and the traumatized, the hopeless and the rudderless."Linda Romey, OSB, Benedictine Sisters of Erie, Pennsylvania, Contributor, Global Sisters Report