Caresharing

Marty Richards, MSW, LCSW, a clinical social worker, is an affiliate assistant professor at the University of Washington School of Social Work. She is a popular speaker on the topics of chronic illness, Alzheimer's disease, elder care and spirituality and aging. She is the author of Caresharing: A Reciprocal Approach to Caregiving and Care Receiving in the Complexities of Aging, Illness or Disability (SkyLight Paths) and Eldercare: The Best Resources to Help You Help Your Aging Relatives and Caregiving: Church and Family Together.Marty Richards, MSW, LCSW, is available to speak on the following topics:Caresharing: Congregation, Older Adults and Families TogetherKeeping Hope and Heart Alive in Caregiving and ReceivingBalancing Relationships in Families: A Caresharing ApproachEnhancing Spirituality for Those with Dementia and Their CarersDealing with Loss and Grief in Caregiving and Care ReceivingBuilding on What the "Frail" Teach the "Well" in Coping with Chronic Illness

• Prelude xi1 THE DANCE OF SHARING CARE 1An Invitation to Share Care 1A New Vision for Sharing Care 2The Basic Steps of the Caresharing Dance 7Expanding the Caresharing Network 13The Body/Mind/Spirit Connection 21When Things Get Complicated 302 SHARING WISDOM: WHAT THE FRAIL TEACH THE WELL 37Inner Wisdom 37Clearing the Way 39Putting Yourself in the Role of a Learner 42Gaining New Understanding from Stories 51Receiving Spiritual Strength 543 FAMILIES SHARING THE CARE: REINVENTING THE ROLES AND RULES 58Family Systems 58Family Roles 60Family Rules 72Family Secrets 784 SHARING "SOUL TO SOUL": A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE WITH COGNITIVE LIMITS 83Facing Difficult Challenges 83Understanding the Stages of Dementia 84Building Effective Communication 93Keeping the Spirit Alive 100Dealing with Difficult Behaviors 105Connecting Soul to Soul 1075 SHARING GRIEF: COPING WITH THE “LARGE” AND THE “LITTLE” LOSSES 118The Presence of Grief 118Facing Transitions 119Facing Losses 120Dimensions of Grief 127Grief Responses 138Coping with Grief 141Spiritual Dimensions of Grief 1476 SHARING FORGIVENESS: A KEY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY IN CARESHARING 155The Importance of Forgiveness 155The Nature of Forgiveness 158The Barriers to Forgiveness 160Relationship Matters 165Daily Matters 168Where to Start 172Spiritual Dimensions of Forgiveness 180Reconciliation 1837 SHARING HOPE: AN ACTIVE PROCESS ONE STEP AT A TIME 188The Importance of Hope in Caresharing 188Definitions of Hope 190Four Key Aspects of Hope 193Keeping Hope Alive 200An Action Plan for Building on Hope 206Postlude 223Suggestions for Further Reading 225Acknowledgments 227

"Opens up a world of possibilities of ways to 'share' the caring experience and provides a detailed path to support people on their own journey."—Rev. Gwen Brandfass, chair, Forum on Religion, Spirituality and Aging (a constituent group of the American Society on Aging)"Offers precious wisdom and comfort.... Points the way for caregiver and care receiver to learn, grow, heal and thrive amidst soul-searing challenges."—Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, director, Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism, Reconstructionist Rabbinical College; author, Jewish Visions for Aging: A Professional Guide for Fostering Wholeness“The perfect handbook for anyone called to give or receive care. Brims with wise counsel, inspiring stories and practical resources. Offers a fresh and hopeful vision of mutual relationships to help us realize this graced togetherness.”—Kathleen Fischer, PhD, author, Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging“A creative and vital new approach to caring. Provides an honest, down-to-earth approach to the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of the caregiver and the care receiver. A great blessing and benefit to all persons involved in caring relationships.”—Dr. Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., director, Center on Aging and Older Adult Ministries, The United Methodist Church“Nothing less than masterful. Richards' concrete and profound perspective on hope and how hope affects caresharing is a wonderful addition to existing literature on caregiving and care receiving. Needs to be read by every caregiver and care receiver as well as their families and friends.”—Rev. Donald Koepke, director emeritus, California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging“Gently but thoroughly confronts the myth of independence. We are in this life together. A must read for all pastors and parish life directors.”—Rev. James P. Oberle, S.S., PhD, director, Holy Spirit Center, Anchorage, Alaska“An inspiration to many of us in the field of Alzheimer’s care. Touches the spirit in all of us, teaches and inspires. Highly recommended.”—David Troxel, coauthor, The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care