'Am I Black or Right'

Am I Black or Right? was the environmental mindset of my upbringing. I have been writing this autobiography since 1987. It is difficult to believe how totally ignorant my existence was, which made my writing the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

The saddest part of all is that there are still members of my family who have not rid themselves of this handicap. I no longer hold animosity toward them, just pity.

There are episodes in my book that do not pertain to race, but a psychoanalyst once told me that the more mixed blood you have, the more complex people appear. So, I added some of the bizarre decisions I have made in my life, which to me confirms her theory or lends an excuse for my actions.

Some of the girls I went to school with lived on my block, one day one of them asked me "Teresa there are so many cute sailors always going in your house all the time and music playing how come you are out here playing ball?" Little did they know, I would have traded places with them at any time.

I was torn between my biological heritage, being American, and my cultural training. Culture does regulate our lives at most turns. I had a hard way to go. Being a rebel and extremely curious, did not at all help my cause. I wanted to rid the whole thing and just be me, but Who and What the heck was I?