12 Hours to a Great Marriage

Howard J. Markman, PhD, is the lead author on our best-selling Fighting For Your Marriage. Dr. Markman is professor of Psychology and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, co-author for many of our other PREP books and one of the best known, most respected experts in the world on marriage enhancement and divorce prevention.Scott M. Stanley is lead author of our best-selling Christian marriage book A Lasting Promise, co-author of Fighting For Your Marriage, and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver.Susan L. Blumberg is a co-author of Fighting For Your Marriage and director of Interpersonal Communications Options.Natalie H. Jenkins is the lead author of You Paid How Much For That and vice-president/marketing director of PREP; All four authors live in Denver, Colorado.Carol Whitley is the author of The Everything Creative Writing Book and lives in Los Altos, California.

• Acknowledgments ixIntroduction: Stepping Up to the Plate 1Part I Getting to FirstHour 1: Taking a Positive Attitude 19Hour 2: Simple Techniques for Talking Safely and Clearly 43Hour 3: Handling Your Issues 63Hour 4: Solving Your Problems 83Hour 5: Great Ground Rules for a Great Relationship 107Part II Reaching SecondHour 6: Having Fun 125Hour 7: Enhancing Your Love Life 143Hour 8: Sharing Values and Core Beliefs 163Part III Rounding ThirdHour 9: Meeting Expectations 185Hour 10: Forgiving 205Part IV Safe at HomeHour 11: Being Friends 227Hour 12: Making the Commitment 243Epilogue: Keeping the Program in Play 263Getting More Help When There Are Serious Problems 265Resources and Training 269Selected Research and References 271About the Authors 277

Twelve hours to a better marriage, questionable; 12 hours to read the book, feasible. Three of the team of authors who wrote Fighting for Your Marriage expand on that title's speaker-listener techniques with advice on commitment, forgiveness, and expectations. The program represents a no-fuss beginning point for couples starting to realize that marriage is hard work. The writing is direct and effective, and the entire exercise is palatably presented like a baseball game (first base is talking, second is having fun, and so on). The usual, undocumented "reference shows" vagaries abound, unfortunately, and advice, though sound, can be both unoriginal ("how you and your partner treat each other is key") and generic ("work to identify and decrease negative behaviors and increase positive ones"). Still, the techniques are workable and deceptively simple (e.g., "soften your tone"), even if they depend heavily on reader determination. Less a rescue manual for troubled marriages than a Cliff's Notes for a successful one, this is an optional purchase for public libraries, which might also consider Laurel Mellin's The Pathway: Follow the Road to Health and Happiness. (Library Journal, November 15, 2003)