When I First Held You

Anstey Harris was born in an unmarried mothers’ home in Liverpool in 1965. Now a mother and stepmother herself, she lives in Scotland where she runs a writing retreat. She has been inspired by her family history, and hopes to give a voice to the women and children—16,000 a year during the 1960s in the UK—separated from each other by forced adoptions.Anstey won the H. G. Wells Short Story Award in 2015 and her debut novel, The Truths and Triumphs of Grace Atherton, a Richard and Judy Book Club choice, won the Sapere Books RNA Popular Romantic Fiction Award in 2020. Her second novel, Where We Belong, was shortlisted for the RNA Book of the Year Award 2021 and she numbers Libby Page, Katie Fforde and Beth O’Leary among her many fans.

“This profound story of loss delivers an emotional gut punch but also displays human resilience. Recommended for fans of Jodi Picoult.” —Library Journal (starred review)“It is brilliantly written, so many brilliant phrases which made me smile…I shall keep my fingers crossed that it is a huge hit. It ought to be, it’s marvellous. I shall be recommending it to all.” —Lesley Pearse, #1 bestselling author of The Woman in the Wood“Struggling to find words for how amazing this book is—a beautiful, thoroughly original story about love in all its forms, with so many unexpected twists and turns. It made me laugh, made me cry, made me think.” —Frances Quinn, author of The Bonesetter Woman“This is a hauntingly beautiful novel. The painful story of Judith and Jimmy is told with deep sensitivity in lyrical prose that was a joy to absorb, and the plot unfolds at a pace that keeps you turning the pages—such a winning combination.” —Imogen Clark, million copy selling author of Impossible to Forget“Evocative, emotional and original, every word has been expertly crafted.” —Catherine Isaac, author of The World at My Feet“When I First Held You is a wonderful kaleidoscope of passion, love, grief and misunderstandings. Heart-breaking and yet hauntingly beautiful…A stunning book—one to read and re-read many times.” —Celia Anderson, bestselling author of 59 Memory Lane“I loved this gorgeous, poignant novel about loss and love and how over time we are both broken and mended.” —Sara Sheridan, author of The Fair Botanists“Compelling…A story of broken dreams and unexpected healing. You’ll want to read this.” —Sarah Ward, author of The Shrouded Path“Anstey Harris never disappoints. When I First Held You is gripping, heart rending and extremely satisfying, from start to finish.” —Katie Fforde, bestselling author of A Wedding in Provence“A powerful, compelling and affecting read.” —Heidi Swain, bestselling author of The Summer Fair“This book has a very big heart. Full of hope and so beautifully observed.” —Samuel Burr, author of The Fellowship of the Puzzlemakers