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Writer, Psychologist, and Reiki Master John David Higham shares childhood events from his abusive toilet-training through his last suicide attempt at 19. In between, he makes his way as the eldest son of six children. Born in New Jersey in 1960, he learns at age seven that his abusive father is involved with the Mafia. When the man dies two years later, John's mother moves her family to rural Pennsylvania. She appoints John the man of the house and soon develops manic-depression with psychosis.

Being her soldier overwhelms John. He resorts to self-injury and hidden suicide attempts. Ordered not to discuss the home and harassed by their peers after his mother alienates the neighbors, John has fistfights with his older sisters.

Forced to rely on himself for nurturance while protecting his decaying family, John finds refuge in the stories that he tells himself. His self-creation evolves through his mother's death
and subsequent traumas as he enters adulthood. From those numerous hells, a writer is born.