How to Survive A Horror Movie

Seth Grahame-Smith is the author of the New York Times best seller Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. He doesn t know it yet, but he s been dead since the beginning of the movie. Illustrator Nathan Fox lives in Kansas City, Missouri, with his wife and daughter. His work has appeared in the New York Times, The New Yorker, Rolling Stone, Wired, Print, Spin, and countless other national publications.

• FOREWORD: AN APOLOGY FROM WES CRAVEN CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSEHow Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie?How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In?C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North)The Seven Deadly Horror Movie SinsHow to Survive a Horror Movie High SchoolCHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOLThe Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat ThemHow to Survive Summer VacationHow to Survive a Night of BabysittingHow to Stay Awake for a WeekCHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVILHow to Survive a Haunted HouseWhat to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You DeadHow to Defeat a Killer DollHow to Tell If an Object Is EvilCHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHYHow to Survive a CemeteryThe Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your GhostsHow to Kill the Living DeadHow to Kill a VampireHow to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the MovieCHAPTER V: MONSTER MASHHow to Survive a Global Alien AttackWhat to Do If It Follows YouHow to Survive a Space-Based Horror MovieCHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS”What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in ItFour Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an ExorcismWhat to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to LiveHow to Defeat Satan

“Grahame-Smith’s little volume is just like a horror movie: entertaining and…a fun afternoon’s diversion.”—The Hartford Courant“If you have snakes on your plane, did something last summer or suspect you’ve been dead since the beginning of the movie, then this is the book for you.”—McClatchy-Tribune“If anyone would know how to survive a horror movie, it would be Seth Grahame-Smith.”—Tulsa World“How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for horror movie buffs of all ages.”—Think Geek“Insightful, funny, and a must-have companion for any horror fan.”—Geeks of Doom“A tongue-in-cheek guide loaded with humorous insights to the many familiar cinematic tropes that populate the genre.”—Horror DNA, 4 star review