Betrayed Not Broken

Laurel Wiers is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been in private practice for over fourteen years. She is both the owner and director ofLighthouse Counseling in Groton, Connecticut. She received her master's degree from East Carolina University while doing her internship at Duke MedicalCenter and has served as an instructor at multiple universities teaching courses on family relations. She has been an expert contributor to articles forboth printed and online magazines such as gURL.com, careerbliss.com, naturalnews.com, andMilitary Lifemagazine to name a few. She has also been interviewed on the subject of infidelity by both authors and radio personalities, including recent radiointerviews by Deborah Jayne East, host ofRelationship 911on Gfem Talk Show in Atlanta, and Michael Dresser ofThe Michael Dresser Show.

• IntroductionWho is this book's reader?The ProblemWhy I Had to Write a BookA Different Kind of Book on InfidelityIt works!There is hope.Some Thoughts before We BeginChapter 1 Signs, Evidence, and What to Do with It AllInklings of InfidelityGo with your gut.Getting ConfirmationWhat is an affair, anyway?Should I confront my betrayer?Permission, Envision, DecisionAsk YourselfChapter 2 Confront or Keep QuietTimingLaying It All Out TherePossible ResponsesNow what?How Things Might Turn OutWhat questions am I allowed to ask?Exercise: How to Structure an Information-Gathering SessionAsk YourselfA Final CautionChapter 3 I've Been Cheated On. Now What?It's Confirmed . . .What's normal?So Many FeelingsWhom to TellDon't rewrite history.GrievingDO NOT MAKE A DECISION!Exercise: Dealing with the Questions of OthersSo what's next?Ask YourselfChapter 4 "You Want Me to What?"New RulesHow Things Might Turn OutAsk YourselfChapter 5 Back to a Seminormal LifeSome Common ConcernsA Caution against Becoming a VictimWhat if he's staying with me just because he "has to"?The Tricky Part of Trust (the Second Time Around)Giving the Relationship an Honest EvaluationAsk YourselfChapter 6 "How Could You!"Who cheats?So why do affairs happen?What makes one relationship more vulnerable than another?How Unspoken Expectations Can Contribute to an Affair"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."Other Contributors to InfidelityGoing ForwardAsk YourselfExercise: What are your ideas and expectations for love and relationships?Chapter 7 So What Was Your Part in All This?Envision the ConversationNow what do we do?What's next?Ask YourselfChapter 8 Decisions and Forgiveness (Yes, It's Required)Signs that Maybe It's Time to GoChoosing to Stay for "the Other Reasons"He still doesn't know what he wants.You don't want the relationship (but thought you did).Forgiveness (Oh, no, not that!)Afterword The End of the Journey:Stepping Out Together in the New Relationship You Both Have CreatedAbout the AuthorEndnotes