Backpacking and Inflatable Unicorns

Once described as 'a Rottweiler trapped in a Chihuahua's body', a very short Bruce Anderson embarks on his third middle-life crisis.
"The first two weren't good enough, so I decided to have a third one." - Bruce Anderson
Bruce hates winter and is consequently somewhere in the Pacific, hopping aimlessly from island to island in search of tranquillity, beer and, more than anything else, romance. Can anyone combine the three? Strap in for some comic madness and thought-provoking reading as Bruce embarks on a quest to find a girlfriend who never complains.