Sexual Bloopers

Michele Horwitz is a cartoonist, editorial illustrator, and consultant. She is the author of Sexual Bloopers.

• CONTENTSFOREPLAYCHAPTER 1: THE BIRDS AND THE BEES: TALES FROM PUBERTY AND THE AGE OF INNOCENCEA Can in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Bush20/20 HindsightA Down-and-Dirty Mother's DayThe Bee-Wildered Little PrincessThe Strung-Out VirginCHAPTER 2: SEX AFTER SIXTY...'ENSURED': GETTING IT ON OVER THE HILLGranny and Her 'Goy' FriendThe 'X' in RxThe Aging Tooth FairyPar for the (Inter)CourseMr. Fix-ItCHAPTER 3: PAGES FROM THE FAMILY ALBUM: THOSE MEMORABLE MOMENTS YOU'D RATHER FORGETMomma's BoyCat's Got Yer TongueThe Off-Color Coloring BookThanksgiving LeftoversJingle BallsCHAPTER 4: PETS WILL BE PETS: THE UNTAMED SIDE OF ANIMAL BEHAVIORMy Unforgettable Cat-AstropheA Little Birdie Told ThemMutt-Ternal InstinctsA Shocking TailHot Dog!CHAPTER 5: PARTY OF ONE: WHEN MASTURBATION INVITES DISASTERLast Will and TesticleA Long Time CummingMom's X-Rated ZZZsComing CleanThe 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not SquishCHAPTER 6: SCREWED, BUT GOOD: THE BIG 'WHOOPS' IN A LITTLE WHOOPEEA Man-'Maid' DisasterCabin FeverDaddy's (Not So Innocent) Little GirlConversation InterruptusOops and the UPS ManCHAPTER 7: ONCE UPON A TRYST: WHEN THE STORY ENDS UNHAPPILY EVER AFTERThe Buzz at Garden Gables InnMy (Not So) Secret Cross-Cuntry AffairFrom Here to EmergencyBest (Un)Laid PlansFalling Head Over HeelsCHAPTER 8: GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN: THE PRICE NICE GIRLS PAY FOR BEING NAUGHTYGetting NailedToo Much of a Good ThingThe Flaming QueenFinger-Lickin' GoodArmed and DangerousCHAPTER 9: PROPS AND FLOPS: SATISFACTION (AND PROBLEMS) GUARANTEEDThat Sinking FeelingOf Human BondageDo Not DisturbGreat X-pectationsInternational Arrivals: United States of EroticaCHAPTER 10: FLIRTING WITH DISASTER: DANGEROUS LIAISONS AND OTHER NEAR-FATAL ATTRACTIONSThe Wild, Wild WestClass of '65 -- Ass of '95Shower 'Head' FiascoThe (Not So) Great OutdoorsParadise LostCLIMAX