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Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. Readers will hear how adult women can be just as vicious as their younger counterparts, learn strategies for dealing with adult bullies, how to avoid being involved in relational aggression, and more. Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others.
CHERYL DELLASEGA, PH.D., is a professor in the College of Medicine and the Department of Humanities at Pennsylvania State University. She is the author of Forced to Be Family, Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, and The Starving Family.
Acknowledgments ixIntroduction 1PART ONE Relational Aggression 201: The Who,What, and Why of RA 51 All Grown Up and Ready to Sting: Adult Female Aggression 72 Why Women Aren’t More Like Men 203 Big Bullies and Other Aggressive Types: The Queen Bee 324 From Mild to Bad and In Between: The Middle Bee 425 Blindsided, Backstabbed, and Bruised: The Afraid-to-Bee 546 Weapons of Choice 67PART TWO Our Own Worst Enemies: Aggression at Work, at Home, and at Play 797 Women at Work 818 Sharing Space: Ages and Stages of Aggression 979 Forced to Be Family: The Good, the Bad, and the Very Ugly of Female In-Laws 10810 Mrs. Popularity and the Mom Clique 11911 Relational Aggression Where You Least Expect It 130PART THREE Recognize, Revise, and Internalize: Changing the RA Way of Life 14512 Who Are You in the Bee Dynamic?: A Relational Aggression Assessment 14713 Healing Residual Relation Aggression: Overcoming the Past 16214 The Power of Forgiveness 17215 The Won’t Bee 18416 A New Relational You 19717 Don’t Stop with Yourself 214APPENDIX ACommunication That Counts: Connecting through Words 227APPENDIX BTalking to Yourself in Ways That Help 231APPENDIX CNetiquette Tips 233APPENDIX DMentoring Resources 235References 237Index 240