Letters to My Hypothetical Children

I was trying to get pregnant, and having difficulty, when I came up with the idea for this book. I was deep in thought about what kind of parent I would become and I felt the need to share the life lessons I've learned with my hypothetical children. That's what a parent does, right? Guide their children based on their own experiences? The problem is then I would have to admit to my mistakes and divulge information that I felt shouldn't necessarily come from the picture in my head of an ideal parent. This is the important stuff and it should be shared, but I've always been better at writing, so this book is my way to communicate all these gems: lessons learned, mistakes I've made, and told in an honest, call-it-like-it-is manner.

Maya and Cami, this book is for you. Take these stories and do with them what you will. Some of these are things I wished my parents had told me, some of these would be regrets if I believed in regrets, and some of these stories will hopefully correct misinformation. These are my experiences, so take them with a grain of salt. You are different from me so you may never need some of these pages. In fact, I hope you don't. But some pages you will need and if there is ever any doubt in your mind that I was once young or flawed, you will soon know otherwise. And I hope you will know from this book that you can talk to me about anything, no matter how difficult. Or, if you can't, write me a letter and I'll write back.

To my parents, you did a wonderful job raising me and you gave me so much. This is certainly not a comment on my childhood or your parenting skills. It's actually more about my fears as a parent and the standard that you set, because you set the bar pretty high. In fact, you will find some amazing memories in these pages if you read them. You are also wonderful grandparents and I hope that if my girls can't talk to me about something, they will be able to talk to you.

For everyone else who picks up this book: I hope you feel a little less alone or horrible, maybe hopeful, and even laugh a little. I've wondered if I'm screwing up my children. I've felt like a horrible parent. I have even felt like a horrible teenager! I hope that this book gives you the courage to talk to your kids about the hard stuff. I hope it starts a new conversation. Parenting today isn't what is was when my parents raised me. Kids have access to so much information and as parents we need to be a big part of the information pie. I even hope that some teenagers read this book so they can find the courage to talk to their parents. Every generation hopes that they can do things a little better than the generation before and I'm doing that the only way I know how, by writing.