2025 Nautilus Award WinnerMove beyond empty "life hacks" to connect with your deepest humanityIn Getting Over Ourselves: Moving Beyond a Culture of Burnout, Loneliness, and Narcissism, human development specialist and leadership coach Christina Congleton delivers an insightful and urgently needed discussion of how people can break out of the tired cliches of the self-help genre, and move toward new levels of connection, engagement, and capacity in navigating an uncertain world.In the book, you'll explore how modern attitudes of individualism that were once freeing now converge with environmental destruction, inequality, and an alarming uptick in depression, substance abuse, and suicide to significantly damage the potential of people everywhere. You'll also find concrete strategies—rooted in developmental psychology—that show us new ways to approach these challenging times.Getting Over Ourselves offers: Insights into why “life hacks,” productivity seminars, and more "adulting" are not the solutions to the issues faced by people todayFrameworks that reject the idea that there is a separate, solitary self in need of constant improvement, and connect you with your deepest humanityEffective techniques for fending off burnout and ways to move beyond the unsatisfactory status quo An essential and timely work, Getting Over Ourselves is the antidote to the skin-deep, ineffective "self-help" material that you've been looking for.
CHRISTINA CONGLETON is a human development specialist and leadership coach. Her writing has appeared in publications including Harvard Business Review. Christina coaches in private practice with Axon Leadership and partners with consultancies to deliver coaching around the world. She lives outside Denver with her family.
Acknowledgments xiIntroduction 1Part I the Urgency to Get Over Our Selves 51 A World on Edge 7Paradise Burning 8Stressed to Death 12A Failed Prediction 15Keynes Versus Hayek 17The Heart and Soul of Neoliberalism 242 Lost Heroes 29Selfie Generation 32Lonely Generation 38Burnout Generation 42Lost Generation 47Another Failed Prediction? 513 Spirals of Change 55What Was Enlightenment? 56From Enlightenment to the Dog Whisperer 58Tracing the Path of Human Development 61The Opportunist (Self-Sovereign Mind) 64The Diplomat and Expert (Socialized Mind) 66The Achiever (Self-Authoring Mind) 71Toxic Achieverism 72Spiral to Arc 744 Wandering at an Apex 77The Self-Questioning Transformer 77Navigating the Postmodern Terrain 82Neoliberal Quicksand 87Destroy This Model 88Slipping Through the Cracks 89Part II Un-self Help 935 Selfies and Self-Realization 95Guidepost 1: From Self-Perfection to the Wisdom of HumilityNarcissism as Mistaken Identity 96Default Mode 100Narrative Versus Minimal Self 102The True Meaning of Humility 105The Richness of Self-Realization 107Anchoring in the Practice of Embodiment 1096 Loneliness and Oneness 117Guidepost 2: From Separateness to the Wisdom of InterdependencePhysical Interdependence: Bodies of Multitudes 118Psychological Interdependence: The Resonant Brain 125Spiritual Interdependence: The Garment of Destiny 132Anchoring in the Practice of Connection 1347 Burnout and Wholeheartedness 139Guidepost 3: From Rationality to the Wisdom of VulnerabilityWhen Your Heart’s Not in It 140Heart as Escape Hatch 145Mark of the Valkyries 147Real Compassion 149Vulnerable Confidence 151The Heart of Yes and No 153Anchoring in the Practice of Courage 1548 Lost and Liberated 159Guidepost 4: From Progress to the Wisdom of OpennessDare to Not Know 164Staying with Uncertainty 166The Cure in Curiosity 168Relaxing into Insight 169The Mindful Brain 173The Modern Mindfulness Trap 176Anchoring in the Practice of Wonder 179Part III Concluding and Beginning 1839 Friends Between Worlds 185Calling All Builders 187Power in Diversity, Diversity in Power 188Moving Slowly 189Listening Deeply 191Loving Fiercely 192I Don’t Want to Move to Mars 193Room for Alternatives 195Heroes of Belonging 196Notes 199References 203Recommended Reading 239About the Author 241Index 243