That's Terrible 2

Back by popular demand: another rib-tickling collection of 1001 original jokes and one-liners - only this time even worse! Like its hugely entertaining big sister, this addictive little gem will have you in stitches from the word go. Plumbed from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination, there isn't a swear word in sight, appealing to kids and grandmas, whilst still supplying ample ammunition to bombard your mates into submission. Just like the first time, all you need to do to become immersed in this barrage of off-the-wall buffoonery is find a quiet spot somewhere then slowly turn the page, revealing ream upon ream of good, clean fun jokes like these:

ET's been caught shoplifting. I always said he was light fingered.

Animal rights activists are currently camped outside United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney had injured a calf.

I staggered out of the pub and straight into a fracas with a rag and bone man. I was charged with junk and disorderly.

The wife asked if I fancied a trip to the Arctic Circle. I said, sounds cool.

I took my car back to the garage. I said, every time it rains, I get this awful hissing noise. The mechanic said, I wouldn't worry too much. It's probably just the windscreen vipers.

Ghosts: they need to get a life.

I bought an imitation American motorcycle. It was a Hardly Davidson.

My job at the glue factory, I've told them to stick it.

I went in HMV. I said, what do you think to the Pet Shop Boys? The assistant said, they've a good selection of dog biscuits but the prices are a bit steep.

Tardis for sale. No time wasters.

I took my new DAB radio back to the shop. I said, the volume button is stuck on low and I don't know what to do. He said, try playing it by ear.

The cat o' nine tails I inherited: I've flogged it.